By sarahlipoff on April 08, 2011
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a blog post about how I don't do time out at my house. I shared my post on a website I sometimes frequent and was actually more surprised by the comments than I thought I'd be. Mamas chimed in on how they found time out to be beneficial and why, that they also don't do time out and have found other disciplinary things that work, and some on how they spank.
I was never spanked as a child. I'm not sure if that causes me to look at spanking differently than someone who was spanked as a child, but spanking is not okay in my world. You can spank in your house if you think it's the right thing for you and your family. But, wowsa, nobody spanks at my house.
Let's get down and dirty, shall we? I'm not judging you if you do spank. This is a personal choice for me and it all comes down to my belief that hitting promotes hitting. When a child is spanked, isn't it the same as hitting? When a child is spanked, isn't it the same as saying using violence is a way of getting a point across? When a child is spanked, aren't they shamed instead of nurtured?
Well, I'm no expert. I'm just a parent. But, whenever I put my point out there, I like to back it up. So, here's Dr. Sears' view on things: Spanking demonstrates that it's all right for people to hit people, and especially for big people to hit little people, and stronger people to hit weaker people.
Oh, and the American Academy of Pediatrics - The AAP does not recommend spanking. Other ways to discipline kids effectively include using time outs, modeling appropriate behavior, and helping kids understand the connection between actions and consequences.
I look at my child and I see innocence discovery, exploring, experimenting, pushing buttons, causing a ruckus, excitement, crazy butt-shaking, screaming, movement, and typical child behavior. No matter how out-of-control her conduct ever could be, I would never, ever spank her. Ever.
As I said, I'm not judging you if you spank at your house, but I am asking you to think about it before you spank the next time. Just take a deep breath, look your child in the eye, and think about it. That's all I'm saying.
So, what do you do at your house? What has influenced your disciplinary decisions? How do you back up your choices when asked about them by others?
*Here's a link to the thread I started that caused total knock-down-drag-out mama drama with 180+comments. If the site makes you become a member to see the link, it's not worth it (trust me).