Spied On, Then Kicked Out of Christian Homeschool Group

Betrayal. Deceit. Espionage. Secrets. Lies. Jealously. Controlling, passive-aggressive women. Manipulation. Creating a false identity to spy. DRAMA. Sounds like a great new soap opera, but instead those words describe a religious homeschool group.

Back in January I got into this Christian Facebook homeschool group. It was fine, but I decided to start a group on the side for pals and homeschoolers who were a little more open-minded (read: religious, nonreligious, in between, who cares because we are all in this homeschooling thing together and let's just get along) and most likely would not debate over how evil and liberal PBS is or how bad Harry Potter is for a forming mind or the evils of Halloween or how My Little Pony is evil because the horses do chants (for real, people; I could not make this crap up!).

Right after I started the NEW group, a new person named Tammy Mills pops up on the Christian Facebook homeschool group wall (stay with me here) and posts that she's looking for other unschoolers and that she has 5 kids under the age of 10. I wrote her and told her about my group (you can be in two groups at once, you know!) and how we had a lot of unschoolers over there and I also have 5 kids, like wow! She wanted to join, so I added her to my SECRET group (meaning you can't find it on Facebook and have to be invited).

You guessed correctly, friends! IT WAS A TRAP, PEOPLE. It was not a real person, but I didn't find out Tammy Mills was a fake person until a few weeks later. During those weeks, "Tammy" was privy to all the secret group's dealings and posts and events and comments, which weren't all that exciting. Still, that was uncool and potentially illegal if it had happened in the real world as opposed to in FacebookLand.

One night the leader of the Christian group randomly posted this:

"I wanted to let you all know our group is getting ready to undertake some big changes. The biggest change of all comes from the fact that we will be asking only Christians to be a part of our group. There are many reasons we have decided to make this change, most of which is to prevent problems that have occured in other groups. We will, however, continue to allow anyone who has a relationship with Jesus Christ in this group, regardless of actual religious affiliation. Again, this is a preventitive measure. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to msg. me or if you do not agree to this, please feel free to remove yourself from the group."

People in the Christian group were commenting like crazy on this status update, yet the comments were disappearing as fast as they were being posted. I actually stayed out of it, but over in my new group we got in a little chat room somehow and were discussing it. I had the gall to call it censorship.

THEN ... I went back to the Christian page to see what was up and I WAS NO LONGER A MEMBER! My friend had the same thing happen immediately after, then another friend. Three Christians BOOTED! And we know of some non-Christians who sit happily to this day in that group. It does not make sense.

We think the leaders posted the "you must be a Christian" thing to get us riled up to see what we would say, and we took the bait. I'm pretty sure we weren't the only 3 who have ever trash-talked that group or the leader, but as I told her in an email later, sure, I'll take the fall, lady. I wasn't the first person she kicked out of the group, as I have heard now, and I won't be the last.

So back on chat we were tossing around the question WHO COULD BE THE MOLE in our group who was feeding our conversation on chat in real time to the leaders of another group? Then it hit me ... DANGIT ... I did this! I let the mole in! I went through the member list again and saw the one person with no profile picture, went to her page and saw that she had no friends and no wall posts. Duh on me.

One friend put it well: "My Catholic friend did not make the cut and now her kids won't be attending the Valentine's Day party that they were looking forward to. The kids lose."

Some poor souls who still drink the Kool-aid over there only were told that we were bad-mouthing the group. I'm so sick of the word BAD-MOUTHING. Everyone talks about everyone in the world, get over it. We are all TRYING to stop gossiping and talking about everyone else's business, but if you have a vagina, you are probably still doing it. If you don't want to know what is being said about you, don't snoop and don't take information from a snooper.

If you are gunning to boot someone from your group because you simply don't like them, just tell them that and let them down nicely. So my group was infiltrated and women kicked out of a different group for expressing an opinion in a private forum. Just be careful online ... everyone is watching. Nobody realizes that more than I do now.

Severely edited from the original post on TheKerrieShow.com

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.