Spooky Traditions Are Here to Stay
by moonfever0

Trick-or-treat!  These words bring back images from my childhood as well as new traditions with my own family.  The custom can bring out the best from children, the worst from teens, and is loved and hated by adults.  Still, Halloween marks the start of the autumn and winter holiday season, commercialism and all.

Growing up, I lived in a high-rise apartment building in the city as well as a house in the suburbs, and Halloween was great in both locations.  In the apartment building, there weren’t any special provisions for Halloween like having Santa come through the balcony because there was no fireplace.  In fact, trick-or-treating was super easy, I only had to hit a few floors of my apartment building to fill up on candy.  The hallways were full of happy, bustling children ringing doorbells.  And there was no need to bundle up against the chilly October weather because we all stayed inside.

In the suburbs, I was finally old enough to go trick-or-treating without my parents.  These days, that age may be much later than when I was allowed.  But it was my first real taste of freedom, walking down the streets at dusk, being able to take in all the smells of autumn, giggling with my friends.

As a parent, Halloween has become chore, but one that we look forward to each year.  There’s the buying or making of costumes, (modest) decorations of the house, carving of jack-o’-lanterns, and hoping for good weather for trick-or-treating.  The first time I took my son trick-or-treating, he was two and had no idea what was going on.  I had rushed home from work and pushed him in an umbrella stroller so he didn’t have to walk up the long driveways.  But since then, he has eagerly looked forward to trick-or-treating each Halloween.  And miraculously, both our kids insisted on walking themselves since they were three.  Our tradition has grown to include our entire family of four.  Our house is off the beaten path, so no one needs to stay home and man the fort.  Kids love family traditions and this is one that we are happy to continue.

Although Halloween originates from All Hallows’ Even, the eve of All Saints’ Day, it has turned into a secular holiday, mostly in North America.  It is one of those holidays which is not religious, or political or even serious.  It marks the beginning of our neighborhood’s house decorating season, which in some cases, lasts through Valentine’s Day.  Seeing the decorated houses for Halloween is one of the things that our kids most look forward to.  Some houses are spectacularly decorated with flying ghosts, fog and even hearses.  It is a huge community event.  But most importantly, it is a time to connect with neighbors.  Sadly enough, our lives are too busy to visit with neighbors during the year, but at least we have this yearly event to do so.

Soon our kids will be old enough to go trick-or-treating without us, but hopefully they will fondly remember our family trick-or-treating outings and pass the tradition on to their kids.

Contributing editor Angela blogs about creating family traditions over at mommy bytes.

Submitted by moonfever0 (view blog) on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 7:02am

Comments

 

Very few kids seem to trick or treat any more

Or maybe I'm just thinking that there was a lot of competition when I was a kid.

(My blogs are http://flightkeeper.blogspot.com and http://cutefuncool.blogspot.com)

Submitted by Flightkeeper on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 07:22
 

Trick-or-treating alive and well in New
England

I grew up in NY and live in Massachusetts now.  At least for the kids up to 10 years old, I don't know anyone who doesn't do it!

Angela at mommy bytes BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

Submitted by moonfever0 on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 07:31
 

Halloween a magical time for kids...

 

When a child is two or three years old he experiences one of life’s biggest miracles.  He rings a doorbell, calls out a simple phrase and a grown-up hands him candy!  What could be more divine?
The miracle of candy is undoubtedly the bedrock of a child’s love for Halloween.  But there are other elements of Halloween in which a child can delight, and they will give him more to savor than just sugary sweets.  When young children are invited to fully participate in holiday activities, new traditions are created that make the experience richer for everyone.  Let’s start with pumpkins.
A two-year-old child can choose a pumpkin.  It might be the most lop-sided, lumpy and unattractive pumpkin we’ve ever seen, and it may not even stand up properly, but does that matter?  When we let go of the notion of creating the ‘perfect’ holiday from our point-of-view and allow a child to lead in the fun, it lightens our spirit and our child gains self-confidence when we trust his choices.  Participation is the key.
When we bring the lumpy pumpkin home the child can participate in carving it.  No, not with a knife of course, but if the child wishes to scrawl something, anything with a pen or crayon on the pumpkin, the parent can then carve the drawing.  The child enjoys watching her parent carve out the creation, even if it’s just a crooked line.  And when a candle is placed inside, the child’s jack-o-lantern is complete and it is a creation she takes pride in.  But if mommy or daddy is carving a masterpiece nearby, the child may not have the incentive to make anything.  When we draw, sculpt, carve or even build a sandcastle for a child, we discourage the child from doing those things herself.  If the child cannot do as well as mommy or daddy, why bother?  The unfortunate result of this is that the child disengages from an activity that might have provided a creative outlet.  I witnessed vivid proof of this theory several years ago.
My husband and I brought our three-year-old daughter to his company’s family picnic at the park.  One of the children’s activities was to decorate T-shirts with tubes of paint. My daughter was given a white T-shirt and we sat at the picnic table together.  I was utterly amazed when all the parents who joined the activity with their children showed the children how they should design a T-shirt by painting it themselves.  There was not one parent who would let a child freely decorate a T-shirt; the adults completely dominated. “Let’s put a sun over here. And now I’ll write your name.”  Was it because it was a T-shirt and not just a piece of paper?  Was a T-shirt too valuable to leave in the hands of a three-, four-, five-, six- and even seven-year-old?  Would the child’s creation not be ‘good enough?’
The end result of this spontaneous experiment was illuminating indeed.  The T-shirts were hung out to dry in a tree.  None of the children showed the slightest interest in the finished T-shirts.  The parents retrieved them after they had dried, but the children could not have cared less.  They had contributed nothing to the shirts and felt no ownership.
Meanwhile my daughter, Charlotte, sat completely absorbed, as she took a tube of paint and squeezed it to make a short vertical drip on her T-shirt.  Young children are usually more inclined to experiment with the mechanics of art materials than they are to conjure up a design.  She chose another color and made another line on her shirt.  Enjoying this process with all her senses, she made one line after another, each with a different tube of paint.
Charlotte and I lingered, long after the other children, who had watched their parents paint designs on T-shirts, had left the table.  There were just a few latecomers left.  When Charlotte finally finished she admired her work.  “I’m an artist,” she said thoughtfully.  “Yes, you are,” I responded.  A parent across from us smiled at me in a conspiratorial and slightly demeaning way.  We hung Charlotte’s T-shirt up to dry and she wanted to check on it twenty minutes later.  At the end of the company picnic, she proudly took it home.
This event was a profound lesson for me, and it reinvigorated my belief that children must be left alone to direct their artistic endeavors.  There is little reason for a child to be involved in an art project if it is not produced solely by the child.  Well-meaning parents who demonstrate their own creative talents for children risk making them feel incapable, discouraged and disinterested.  Children should be trusted to participate, not only in art projects but in all the activities they encounter, to the furthest extent of their capabilities. Now let’s return to a child’s participation in Halloween.
A child as young as two is capable of choosing his Halloween costume.  When Charlotte was two she said she wanted to be a “kitty-cat.”  If I was crafty I could have made something with her, but instead I took her to a costume store and she chose between the several cat costumes they had.  She chose a black, cartoonish cat costume and wore it well.
Charlotte’s costume choice was the beginning of a long line of yearly costume decisions made by my three children.  Halloween should be a time of fantasy. What other day in the year are we encouraged to live out a wish to be someone or something other than who we are?  Parents should not suggest costumes to a child.  It is much more interesting to wait to see what the child comes up with all on his own.  And when we allow our child to initiate his choice, we encourage him to express his inner desires.
Once children are donned in their fantasy garb, the Trick-or-Treating and parties they take part in should be as wholesome and child-friendly as possible.  Less is more, and going to the houses of a few jolly neighbors is best.  Beware of parties where people dress for shock value, like the one where an acquaintance of mine, who should know better, dressed as a drunken wife-beater.  That may have been his fantasy, but it was a bit too real for my tastes.  Children do not understand horror costumes, or people covered in blood.  Sensitive beings that they are, young children frighten easily. My daughter Madeline’s first Halloween night was almost ruined by a talking pumpkin that terrified her when it spoke the nightmarish words: “Give me your candy!”
My youngest child, Ben, had a more glowing first Trick-or-Treat experience.  We had just left our house with Ben attired in his chosen outfit: a ghost in a sheet, when it began to rain.  We visited a couple of houses before it started pouring.  I picked Ben up and ran with him down the street, both of us giggling. We stopped at just one more house where a party was in progress, and there outside stood a tall, lovely woman in an elaborate angel costume offering candy.  When we got home Ben burst into the house soaking wet and exclaimed to his dad, “I saw an angel!”  A celestial vision and the heavenly taste of candy made for an indelible first impression of Halloween.
Halloween can be a time of wonder, imagination and creativity for children if parents can suspend their perceptions of how it ‘should’ be.  Halloween, as with other holidays and events designed for children, are best seen through a child’s eyes.  In fact, observing a child’s spontaneous creativity is one of the miracles of life over which any parent should marvel.
When a child is two or three years old he experiences one of life’s biggest miracles.  He rings a doorbell, calls out a simple phrase and a grown-up hands him candy!  What could be more divine? My own experiences with my kids are at www.janetlansbury.com 

Submitted by Mcdume on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 08:11
 

Sacramento has started using Christmas
lights.....

Sacramento has started using Christmas lights for Halloween decor out side of peoples houses.

Doesn't that cross a line somewhere? I used to love Halloween as a kid but our parents were still very

cautious of unknown neighbors houses. Anyhow enjoyed your story, have a great holiday ladies:)

Brian Souders

Submitted by Brian Souders on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 14:38
 

Too early for Christmas lights!

Halloween is no time for Christmas lights. Thankfully we don't usually see them until the week of Thanksgiving. The house that does the lights from Halloween to Valentines has a separate set of decorations for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Valentines. They also have a huge electric bill to go along with that!

Angela at mommy bytes BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

Submitted by moonfever0 on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 07:29
 

I would have taken an apartment building

Great post - I grew up in Alaska, on the outskirts of Anchorage. The houses were really far apart and there was generally snow on the ground. That meant we'd have to bundle up in down jackets and run from house to house, then tear off the coats as we rang the doorbell. I recall several times slipping on the ice and having to spend several minutes in the pitch black trying to reclaim my loot!  On the positive side, it was perfectly dark by around 4pm, so we we're pretty much ready to go as soon as school bus let out. 

Blake

 

Submitted by xblake on Wed, 10/21/2009 - 20:56
 

Wow, BRRR!!

I never thought of trick-or-treating in Alaska, it sounds so cold!  But I'm glad that the custom still prevails there!

Angela at mommy bytes BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

Submitted by moonfever0 on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 17:39
 

in our country tick or

in our country tick or treating happens only in malls, but it's fun to see the children in costumes and enjoying themselves.

Submitted by midnightbliss on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 12:52
 

Trick-or-treating worldwide

I did a little research on trick-or-treating in various countries, according to Wikipedia, trick-or-treating is done in the United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Ireland, and northwestern Mexico.  It sounds like it is becoming more popular worldwide.

Angela at mommy bytes BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

Submitted by moonfever0 on Thu, 10/22/2009 - 17:34