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Sarah and the Goon Squad Sarah is a SAHM of six year old b/g twins living in the D.C. Metropolitan Area. You can find Sarah at her personal blog, Sar...
 
 
 
 

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Sports Illustrated 3D Video of Swimsuit Issue Is Only Good For One Thing

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Sports Illustrated Cover, 2006The other day I was listening to the news on the radio and the reporter began talking about the new 3D video of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. As a woman, I've always found the swimsuit issue a little off-putting. I mean, I understand that it is a big seller. I get that the designers of this "swimwear" probably pay huge money to be featured. But let's be honest, none of these bathing suits are fit to race in. Hell, I'm not even sure you can get them all wet.

I like Sports Illustrated because I like sports. If wanted to see scantily clad women, I would pick up a Victoria's Secret catalog or look on the internet. But I am a big girl. Once a year I can roll my eyes when the mail comes, look through the thing, be filled with self-loathing and develop a new and improved eating disorder. But not my point!

I got to thinking about this 3D video. Why would you need (or want) a three-dimensional video of the shooting of the swimsuit issue? So I made a list.

1) masturbation
2) (Thinking. Thinking. Wait. Still thinking.)

There is no number two. The only possible reason to want a 3D version of the Swimsuit Issue is to get off. I hope you are proud, Sports Illustrated.

Now, just to be clear -- I have no problem with pornography. AS LONG AS YOU MAN UP AND CALL IT WHAT IT IS. Let porn be porn. I propose Sports Illustrated (who already have SI Kids, SI.com, and Sports Illustrated Almanac) launch Sports Illustrated Porn. You can have high-rent, naked models and we can stop pretending it has anything to do with sports. Plus they could make a killing! Just have the credit card statement say Sports Illustrated and the 3D swimsuit DVD can be your subscription gift. Easy peasy. We can stop pretending that this is about swimwear or sports. A naked model and a tire pretending to advertise swimwear.

Naked Woman with Tire, No Swimsuit

Let's call a spade a spade. The 30 minute 3D video of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is high end soft core pornography. And at $ 7.99 it is a pretty good deal.

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad and Draft Day Suit.

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theoutcast 5 pts

This helped me find the words for how I feel about this topic so I have to thank you for bringing it up.

I see much of your concern rests with the 3-D aspect of it. I'm more offended that they 3-D'd a movie like Jack-Ass. But the idea of a guy pleasuring himself in those glasses does freak me out.

In all seriousness, I'm quite certain my point-of-view is in the minority.

We can agree on one thing! If you have the opportunity to sit on sand without a stitch of clothing holding your tire floaty and you are not getting paid handsomely for it, bring a towel.

Cheers :)

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

Sarah 5 pts

I would have demanded a towel.

Well, wait. That woman got paid enough to deal with a little bit of discomfort.

But after all is said and done, I maintain that a three-dimensional representation of this is 100% for pornographic purposes and not so much the admiration of the naked female body.

I agree that the naked body (male or female) can be a thing of non-sexual beauty.

I am saying that in this case it isn't what they are going for.

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad ( http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ ) and Draft Day Suit ( http://draftdaysuit.com/ ).

theoutcast 5 pts

True! But having spent a good deal of time on the beach myself I never figured out how to keep it from getting trapped in my bottoms anyway.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

Think of the sand and the places it would go. It's probably not places you want sand to go.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

theoutcast 5 pts

Great point Sassy Monkey.

I feel the same way about myself. I don't feel threatened by a man's willingness to enjoy looking at her -- even if she appears to have just come in from the ocean floating around on a tire totally nude.

I would do it if I could. I'm going to have to add that activity to my bucket list.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

Sarah 5 pts

Well said, Karen.

BlogHer Contributing Editor, Sarah can also be found at Sarah and the Goon Squad ( http://sarahandthegoonsquad.com/ ) and Draft Day Suit ( http://draftdaysuit.com/ ).

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

I am desired and beautiful. And I don't need wrap my naked body around a tire in some false guise of "sports" to be so either.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

theoutcast 5 pts

As I am getting older my view of sexuality and nudity -- especially of women -- is definitely changing. Frankly I would rather my husband/son get his kicks of off these ladies than the caricatures (sp?) of women in porn. This does not fall in porn area in my view at all.

Tasteful stripping and nudity of beautiful women is a celebration of a woman's uniqueness, power and appeal. I no longer find this troubling. I have no problem seeing women this way because I know they are probably very smart ladies too. Honestly, many of us would want to be that desired, beautiful woman (but with a tire???) for a few minutes if we could.

I enjoy my fantasies. I think my guy should enjoy his too.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

deedeesew 5 pts

I completely agree with your statement. I've always felt like that was just a good inexpensive way for men to get porn into their home without the wife saying anything. It seems like now days everything is porn. I get really tired of seeing it everywhere.