The spot where _________
If I asked you to drive me to the spot where you grew up, or went to high school, had your first kiss, or got married...how would it feel? As we saw it in the distance, slowed down, and the brakes began to squeak. When we opened the car doors and the air from outside rushed in...as we got out and the sun beamed down on us. How would you feel? As, you showed me around? For me, moments like that are almost their own energy. It's like, as I stand there, if I inhale deeply enough I can inhale part of that moment because it is thick in the air. Like that energy abides there though the moment is long gone.
I actually enjoy reliving those kinds of moments in my mind. If you really connect you can feel just like you felt that day. Hopefully when I'm a ripe old age I'll be able to tell a story just like Ninny Threadegoode, from Fried Green Tomatoes, that brings you right back to that day....
Well, so...you showed me around and we're getting back into the car... and I ask you to take me to the place that changed your life. Not for the better (that you knew at first). Not the spot that you got married. Or the spot where you bought your first home....the spot that changed YOU. as a person. That grew you. That was hard...the hardest thing that you've ever experienced. But now. looking back you know. that it changed you. For the BETTER.
Would you pause? Would you take me there? If you would happily take me there then I might question whether you actually have experienced this place yet...
Well yesterday. I revisited "the place where ____"....where my life changed. A family member was in the hospital and I chose to go. I had to go. My love for them was greater than how difficult I knew that this was about to be. I pulled up. I felt the knot in my throat. I took some deep breaths. I looked around.
There was the tree that I parked under.
There were people still milling around, unaware that my life was forever changed here.
I expected to go back. I drove myself there. So I decided to use the opportunity to show myself that everything was ok. God had allowed my life to take this left for a reason...I know that now...and even though it has brought with it the worst pains of my existence...
It has brought such awareness and connection that I wouldn't change it just to make my life easier.
So I walked. Instead of making a beeline for the elevator and heading up to the room. I walked. And breathed. To take some ominousness out of the big dark place that changed my life. I walked around the lobby, past the information desk, and into the gift shop. I've always thought that they have the best gift shop.
In God's infinite wisdom and grace...I came across a sign that read...
Life is a chance to grow a soul.
Life is a chance to grow a soul...
Where I have been led has grown me...so much that sometimes I can actually feel myself being stretched. But, I have such a deep connection. Such an awareness of the beauty of things. Laughter. Light. Life in all of its forms. Touch. Feeling.
You think that you know love until your child who can't control his head takes all of 60 seconds to lift his head and give you his open-mouthed version of a kiss on the cheek as you carry him to the car.
I don't just live life. I feel life.
And that is the intention of these times, these places, these spots where our lives change forever. If we embrace them in the midst of the pain and the tears. They force us to climb to a new plateau SO HIGH that we would never achieve it on our own.