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Sparkle (0)
You know we all have this love/hate relationship this time of year. Yes folks, it's Spring Cleaning time again. The clocks have moved forward leaving us feeling like we should still be in bed, but we still have to get our rugrats up and motivated to finish those last 3 months of school.
I call it the 100 day school slump.
It is also the time of year that we meticulously move from one room to the other taking inventory of what goes - what stays - and what needs to be fumigated and put in Haz-Mat bags.
I've been dabbling here and there; removing frozen-to-a-black-death, foliage from the entire backyard. The only thing that survived this winter was the rosemary, the lavender, and by some miracle; my already half-dead parsley revived itself in full glory after the last freeze.
Go figure THAT one!
I've now started on the house which after this morning, realize it's BEEN a year since I really gave the place a good laundering. I started with cleaning up the last of the ashes in the fireplace.
Thinking I'd be on top of the situation and not make a mess, I took four plastic bags and layered them in a small wastebasket and carefully shoveled the ashes out of the fireplace.
Things were going pretty good, eh?
Oh "bright one" here decided not to don cleaning clothes and instead, wore my new Gap capri's which are a light grey. Soon, darker shades of grey and black were flying all over the place and my pants must have contained a serious amount of static electricity, because that's where the shit landed!
You think I would get smart NOW and change clothes. No, my brain cells are having a blonde moment still in a long winters sleep and I'm thinking, "Just be more careful."
This is where I get another clever idea whereas not to send flying dust up my nose, I will just spray it down, sweep it up, and be over it in no time.
Well, I proceed to spray the entire stinking fireplace with multicleaner, (because it is clear and it reminds me of water - but isn't), thus clogging what airspace I have left with toxic fumes, and THEN climbing in with my new capris still on while sweeping up the last of the ashes, which accumulated in thick hard piles in the corner of the fireplace, with my little hand broom.
Oh you can tell I am not the brightest little lightbulb in the bunch, can't you?
After noxious fumes start my head swirling and my lungs heaving, I lean back to breathe some normal air behind me; but not before I smack that completely full wastebasket of neatly layered plastic bags, soot and ashes, all over my bloody, ca-ca looking, linoleum floor!.
