Peering through Porn

In an attempt to interest my sex drive in any activity, I've been checking out a variety of sexual options.  Including porn.  

Porn has always been a very mood specific interest for me.  In the past, there are times when I found it arousing and a great tool for increasing sexual interest.  Other's just something that seems plain silly.  

I've always found it a challenge to actually watch the screen while engaging in any kind of sexual play.  I mean how do you watch the action on the screen and still focus on your partner?  Or even on what your partner is doing to you?  Way too many distractions and that causes the inevitable collision.  I can tell you from experience that taking a head-butt to your nose, is one sure-fire way to kill the mood.  Add blood, and it ramps the entire scenario up to something out of a Three Stooges movie.  Not sexy and rather painful.

However during my latest excursion into the realm of free on-line porn, I found a predominate theme.  Female ejaculation (or squirting).  It seems I have gone my entire adult life without realizing that I'm supposed to aiming for this...this...this visual expression of the intensity of my orgasm. 

Really?  How is it that I didn't know that just climaxing wasn't enough?  Was I asleep during this portion of sex ed?  

Now I don't know about you, but the non-stop videos showing woman after woman, writhing in ecstasy and gushing or shooting copious amounts of fluid into the air, is not appealing.  I understand that porn is fantasy and not the reality but please...we know men tend to view porn as a measuring stick.  And now there are videos out that show a man, in exquisite detail, how to make a woman squirt.  

There is nothing about this idea that makes me hot.  In fact, I find the idea of it slightly icky.  Beyond that, why should I put additional pressure on myself to not only achieve an orgasm but to also squirt all over my partner, myself, the surfaces around us?  How does that make sex better?  Even the term "squirting" is distasteful. 

I don't deny that perhaps there is additional pleasure that may come from this.  And I'm sure there have been women who have experienced this without knowing it is a perfectly natural sexual expression of their pleasure.  But how did it go from being something that might happen to something that SHOULD happen if a woman is truly enjoying herself?

There is nothing about this that helps increase my desire.  And I'm now slightly annoyed that there is one more thing that will be expected from me as a woman.  One more way to judge how truly sexually free I am.  

Oh please, please...let us have our orgasms any way we can and just let us enjoy the moment.   


My sex drive made it very clear...keep on looking.  

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