Redbook Editor Stacy Morrison's Divorce Book: Survival Guide, Love Story, Must-Read (VIDEO)
By Lisa Stone on March 24, 2010
BlogHer Original Post
Redbook Editor-in-Chief Stacy Morrison looks deceptively like any national magazine editor whose six-year-old is the center of her universe. But secretly? She's the swami of divorce, who channels her own experience to help readers cry all the tears, feel all the hurt and then grow up enough to survive with integrity and love.
Whether you are getting divorced or just care about someone who is, have I got a gift for you: Morrison's just-released book, Falling Apart In One Piece, An Optimist's Guide to the Hell of Divorce. Dragging Stacy in front of the camera to answer questions from the BlogHer community was a treat. She won me over by her willingness to throw-down on the emotional side of divorce in a way that will lift you up. In a society where divorce has become about money, tawdry accusations, and gossip fodder, I think this book can help you heal, especially if you are a parent and have children going through the experience with you. But don't take my word for it -- take hers:
Part 1. D-Day: "I just wanted to show how divorce really is."
Stacy shares how her 13-year marriage ended - right down to her husband's words. Then she says it's the best thing that ever happened to her. No, really.
Part 2. On Anger: "The best of yourself and the worst of yourself."
Stacy talks about moving beyond anger to examine your personal demons. She also agrees with the sage comments of Giyen of Bacon Is My Enemy, who said, "I've seen the best of me and the worst of me come out during this time."
Part 3. Other People's Marriages ... and Judgments: "That question is about you and YOUR marriage -- not about mine."
Stacy offers great advice on how to handle awful questions people ask about why a marriage is over. Save this link to send to friends and family who may not know what they do...of all the tawdry gossip hawked from tabloids to television, divorce is my least favorite subject. There's nothing like watching media sharks treat Jon vs. Kate, Tiger vs. Elin and Sandra Bullock vs. Jesse James like chum to make you feel permanently dirty on the inside. And when it's your marriage people are talking about? Awful.
Part 4. Being Alone: "No army of friends was going to meet me in my alone."
Because divorce is the lonely. The uber-lonely. That lonely can kill you or make you stronger, with the right advice. "What were some of the things that made your 'alone' more bearable?" asked Laracolvin from Notions of Identity. In a real answer, Stacy reads the raw and honest early passage from "Falling Apart".
Part 5. How much do you show the kids? All? None? "Some."
Rita Arens of Surrender Dorothy asks, "Do you have any advice about how much rawness to let your children see and how to distract yourself while they're around if you don't want to show them the hurt or anger toward their other parent?" Stacy describes the "eighteen-millionth time" she cried -- this time in front of her young son.
Part 6. How To Parent With An Ex: "You just have to keep practicing letting go."
JustLinda of Nothing To See Here asks "How does one find the peace they seek when still having to depend upon cooperation from an individual who is not willing to come to the table as a partner?" Stacy's example: A divorce demand she gave up that ultimately helped her let go of the marriage. Okay, this may be my favorite clip.
Part 7: Divorce Won't Erase Your Identity: "When I finally realized the me in me was going to be unchanged ... that's the secret of life."
Inspired by Kelly Wickham of Mocha Momma: "Why NOW? If he put half that effort into marriage then...sigh. Well, you know the rest." Stacy shares advice on finding peace, dignity and grace during the process of divorce ... and ever after.
Part 8: Talking About Divorce at Work: "You'll know when it's time to say something."
Stacy's advice to people who wonder how much to say about their divorce at work. Plus, she agrees with Lovebabz's statement that you have to be your own compass. (Here's how Lovebabz put it: "Once you are done with all the crying, whining and telling the story of how you were "wronged" then you begin to realize all the POWER you possess to create the life you want. That is the greatest gift... your own compass!" Nice.)
Part 9. Why Write This Book? "It's about love."
Stacy talks about what it's like to read aloud stories of your divorce. To people you've never met. In public ... Plus my absolute favorite moment of the entire interview: What Stacy wants her son to take away from Falling Apart In One Piece. Beautiful no?
I'm so eager to hear what you all think. Do you agree with my assessment of Stacy's advice? Or think I'm wildly off the mark? Thank you, everyone who wrote in a question or comment on my original post.
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