Stalled Out

I am feeling pretty dang skinny these days.  I'm not actually skinny.  Take off my clothes and it is evident that I am not, but in my clothes, I'm feeling downright okay.  I'm feeling so okay that I kind of feel like I don't need to keep losing weight.

Yet, I am still one of the 67% of the population in my state that is overweight.

I woke up this morning far earlier than I wanted to exercise with my gym partner.  She was going to come to my house so I had to do some quick cleaning up.  Everything was ready and then she didn't show!  I know!   She, however, really needed the sleep and texted to say so.  I could have made coffee and exercised.  I could have exercised and then made coffee. 

I went back to bed and never exercised at all.

When I was in bed, before ever getting up, I entertained the idea that she would be a no-show.  I then entertained the idea of still working out.  I knew I wanted an excuse not to work out, but floating through my head went the words, "Me First".  Crudola.  I didn't really want to make me first.  I preferred excuses first and lo and behold, smiling, that's how it worked out!

Once I did get up, I read a blog post about de-cluttering your home.  It was the project I wanted to work on some today so I read the post closely.  The challenge was to start in one room and remove 27 things from that room and get them out of the house (not just store them outside for an hour, but really get rid of them).  Then you do this for the next 9 days as well.

Piece of cake I thought.

Wrong.

My kids are napping.  I have loads of time to myself to deal with this task and I can find almost nothing to toss.  I did get rid of a bag of almonds that expired two years ago and tasted rancid.  I tossed some scraps of paper, some old sweatpants and um...everything else seems so essential.  Or at least possibly essential for some sort of something in the future.

I think there might be a parallel between what is going on in my house and what is going on in my body.  Arrrrrr - I so want an uncluttered house, but I don't know what to part with.  If we were moving it would be easy because then you really just get RID of things, but we're not. 

So I am sitting on my sofa, with a cup of coffee, wishing I was active and busy and motivated and cleaning things out and all I've really succeeded in doing is trashing 15 things, setting aside 2 things for a friend, 5 things for the thrift store and avoiding making a monster lunch for myself or opening the chocolate bar in our cabinet.

However....when the kids wake up, we are going to go pick up a filing cabinet that someone else is getting rid of and I plan to do some filing/organization tonight.  In between I plan to take the kids and dog on a little walk and later this evening after dinner, if the light is nice, I'd like to take the kids on a bike ride in the bike trailer.

So perhaps the energy will happen.  It just hasn't yet!

(And isn't it interesting that I talk as if I will "get" energy instead of recognizing the role I play in "creating" it?  And how I use coffee to get the energy to go create energy?  That is probably some deep thinking all in itself.)

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