A Promise to My Child: I Will Not Let the System Fail You

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When I was a little girl, I used to think that having a baby meant getting pregnant, having a happy nine months of eating ice cream and taking pictures, and going to the hospital to you know… deliver the baby.

Then I lived my teenage years. And my early twenties. I had personal experiences that led me to desire adopting children who need a family, and I began meeting people who did not have a traditional family either. Today’s American culture has changed so much. One can have a traditional two parent family with biological children. Or not. I have met two parent adoptive families, adoptive single fathers, adoptive single mothers, friends who are legal guardians, family members who are legal guardians, foster parents, families who have a child through surrogacy, and I even have a friend who adopted a frozen embryo and completed an adoption but biologically delivered her child.

Credit: naohiko.

So here I’ve been, a licensed adoptive mother for two months (which really isn’t that long in US foster to adopt culture), but I’ve sat in what my husband and I joke as the “Starbucks waiting room” three times now waiting for an answer from CPS about a specific set of children. I have a hard time with patience, and waiting to find out something as important and as much a part of me as who are my children is excruciating. So… I go to Starbucks. Write. Blog. Talk. Being willing to share my story has opened doors to sharing about adoption to people I never knew were interested in it before, and I am so excited about that. But it doesn’t make the waiting any easier.

Though I have moments of frustration, anxiety, and just pure annoyance with how the system works here in the States, I know that my sons or daughters wait at the end of this road. I also know that God is holding them while they wait for me.

For all of you who are waiting for your children as well, I want to encourage you to stay strong. I made a promise to God for my children: I will not let the system fail you.

I know that for every frustration I feel, there is a deeper wound that my child has faced. Make that promise to your child. Don’t let the system fail your son or daughter. Instead, let the process draw you closer together as you have now experienced just a small taste of what he or she has been going through for much longer.

Hang in there, stay busy, and prepare. Prepare, prepare, prepare.


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