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Starting Preschool Early: The Beginning of Educational Controversy

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Today was our youngest son’s first day of preschool. I was hesitant about this first drop-off, worried that the first time away from his older brother would be difficult for him. Instead, he hung up his backpack, walked into his classroom and never looked back. Any worry I had about sending him to preschool early was erased as I watched him make his way across that room.

As parents, my husband and I have taken some flack for starting both of our late fall babies in preschool before they were three. Our youngest will turn three this November, meaning that he was one of the very youngest children in his classroom today. Like one mom, I have felt bullied for our decision -- though not to hold back, but for starting them in preschool “early” by some magic number standard. We have been told -- to our faces -- that it will be our fault when our boys are diagnosed with ADHD. Oh.

Like most of our decisions, deciding whether or not to send each boy at this age was not one we took lightly. First and foremost, we didn’t even consider the possibility until they were both potty trained. They both did so shortly after they turned two, finding that massive amounts of snow leaving us stuck inside left us with nothing better to do than promote potty awareness anyway. After that milestone was fully achieved, we factored in other readiness considerations as well as things that they each needed. What they needed most? More active learning and, mostly, socialization.

Our oldest son was painfully shy when we sent him to preschool. Perhaps that’s why some people balked. But not his teachers. He immediately won them over and eventually began to make friends. He learned a lot, but he also learned how to interact with people. He stopped hiding behind my skirt and, uhm, growling at people. He became himself.

Our kids are not magical geniuses, though that’s our oldest son’s favorite vocabulary word right now. They did know letters and colors and sounds and shapes and all that jazz upon starting preschool. They both still color outside the lines and think that being Buzz Lightyear is infinitely more interesting than writing letters. But watching our oldest son come out of his shell that first year of preschool was an amazing thing to witness. He is now overly friendly -- a problem when it comes to strangers -- but I know it’s because we sent him to preschool when we did (and because we chose the preschool that we did, one that meshed with our goals for preschool). Had we kept him back another year, well, I don’t know if he’d be the bubbly little dude he is now.

Our youngest is much more laid back, though he has his shy moments. He’s pretty easy-going and will talk to most anyone. It was easier to make the decision on whether or not to send him at this same age. He thinks that if his brother can do it, so can he.. and probably ten times better. I imagine that this year of preschool, his first of three as we miss the cut off for Kindergarten with each and thus don’t have to deal with the redshirting issue, will be mostly about making friends, learning a few things and coming home with stories.

Our decision worked for us today. He had a fabulous first day. Here’s hoping for a great first year!

Other parents’ take on preschool readiness and the age thing:

What about you? Did you start your child in preschool early? Or begin a homeschooling course with your not-quite-three-year-old? Or skip preschool all together? Maybe the question I want to know the answer to is: did you take flack for your choice? How did you handle it?


Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land. She is a

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anneg1980 6 pts

Decisions like when to start school are most definately personal and something that parents need to decide for themselves and their children. I understand what you are saying about preschool bringing your oldest out of his shell. My oldest LOVED the socialization of preschool, and I'm sure my youngest will too. One thing to consider though (and i speak from personal experience) is that children with late birthdays who start school early don't fare well socially starting at about 2nd grade. I have a November birthday and started kindergarten at four. My parents say I loved it and did great. I never had trouble academically. But around 2nd grade i was not as mature as the other kids (at that age a few months make a big difference) and I struggled until high school with friendships. I've talked to many people about their late birthday children who have said the same thing. For that reason, we are starting our October baby later. One thing we considered instead of starting him late was to repeat either 3 or 4 y/o preschool. He's turned out to be my "mamas boy" though, so i dont think he will mind being home another year ;) just food for thought..

RebeccaMiller 7 pts

Hi! Thanks for sharing your experiences! When I had my daughter, my Mom gave me a wise piece of advice. She told me to discuss with my husband and pray about the parenting decisions I would make and then hold to those decisions and not let people make me doubt them. I have TRIED to do this. I wish for you confidence as you make your decisions. Sounds like you are a GREAT mom, who is carefully determining what is best for YOUR children...all kids are a little different and what works for one, may not work for another.

For myself, I haven't yet seen the benefits for preschool for my daughter...she gets lots of socialization in different groups we're a part of, she has a good knowledge base for her age, and she isn't potty trained yet (eek!). I can always revise that down the road if something changes but for now, this is working for us.

I think what you and I have in common is separately assessing the needs of our kids and then following through. Hooray!

catdelouise 5 pts

I put my child in daycare when he was 7.5 months old when I went back to work, although I missed him terribly. I became disabled in 2008 and had to keep him there as I was not capable of caring for him 24/7.

Daycare turned into preschool and now pre-K. I think it has been a great social and learning experience for my son, not to mention allowing me to rest so that I can be a better mom to him.

The school has taught him things through the years that it would never had occurred to me to teach him so early, that I wouldn't know he is capable of grasping. I honestly feel that he will have a head start going into kindergarten.

In the beginning I did feel guilty but now I am please with the way it has worked out.

Emily

http://www.mamasick.com

DesiValentine4 24 pts

We do both at my house. I use a preschool curriculum with my two and three year olds in my dayhome, and I send my children to playschool as soon they are old enough. Learning to play with other kids and make new friends is so much tougher than learning shapes and letters.

I'm a big fan of early entry into school, as long as the school environment is a good fit for your family's goals and values. Good for you on finding a playschool that suits you and your family so well!

WritRams 5 pts

Why am I always commenting after you on posts? Am I stalking you?!? :o|

Jacqueline Wilson (aka: WritRams) is a writer, blogger, educator, mother and wife. You can find her on her Writer Ramblings blog at www.WritRams.com ( http://www.writrams.com ) writing about a little of everything...maybe even you.

WritRams 5 pts

I actually started my daughter right before she turned two. (I know, WAY early.)

Our main motivation was socialization. We are *older* parents, so most of our friends have kids eight years old and up. Our daughter gravitated to older kids and adults and had NO IDEA how to interact with younger children (aka: kids her own age).

She already knew the alphabet, colors, shapes, etc. when she started, so that helped a lot with the young age thing.

She only goes two days a week, but she learns a lot in those two days. And the best part? She loves it.

Jacqueline Wilson (aka: WritRams) is a writer, blogger, educator, mother and wife. You can find her on her Writer Ramblings blog at www.WritRams.com ( http://www.writrams.com ) writing about a little of everything...maybe even you.

Just_Margaret 6 pts

I'm so glad he had a great first day!!

But reading this...I'm so irritated that other people feel the need to be so opinionated and obnoxious about your decision. Be prepared for your kids to have ADHD? Not only is it ignorant, it's downright preposterous. I'm stunned that someone said that to you! You know your boys best. You know what they can handle, and what benefits they will reap for going to preschool at whatever age.

My son went to a preschool that was also a daycare, so I could have brought him whenever I thought he was ready. After a year of preschool, I fought to have my son admitted to kindergarten early. In retrospect, based on many factors aside from his age (like his teacher) I see now that it was ultimately for the best that the school didn't do it. Nobody gave me and my hub crap for fighting for it, though (to our faces anyway). Even during our hearing, the School Board was very respectful in discussing reasons why they thought it wasn't in his best interest.

~Margaret

Just Margaret ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com )

TheAngelForever 5 pts

When my oldest was one when I went back to teaching. Thanks to this, he went off to daycare. At three they began a more nursery school approach to things. Had he not been there, I would have easily sent him off to preschool at three (he's a late August birthday boy). As a teacher I have seen children enter kindergarten with no prior school experience and it is often difficult for them. At three the real reason for preschool is to allow kids to socialize and begin to teach them how to share, work in groups and other social skill sets.

My youngest just turned three in May. A year earlier I looked into a two year old program for him. Had money not been an object I would have sent him to this in a heartbeat. Lucky for me, people were supportive and agreed that the socialization for him and separation from me would be good. Next week he goes for his first day of PreK 3. I know he is ready and he will love it.

I think each family needs to look at this based on their individual situations. We know our children best, but the sad truth is that too many people like to force their views and make us question things and feel guilty. Wishing your little guy continued success in his preschool adventure!

TheAngelForever.com ( http://www.theangelforever.com )

TheAngelForever ( http://twitter.com/theangelforever ) on Twitter