A Stay-at-Home Mom's Productivity FAILS!

Well, as an at-home mom (and aspiring author/illustrator) it is easy for me to get distracted and find my husband walking through the door ready for dinner and I have yet to get out of my PJs or clean...ANYTHING including myself!

It's not that I am a big lazy bum, although I don't move that fast in the morning, it's just...well, I guess I have ADD. I don't know. I'm sure you can relate!

My best days start with a list:

Straighten kitchen

Clean bathrooms

Start laundry

Get groceries

Go to bank

Get stamps

Fill out X, Y or Z forms for school, insurance or other entity that feels MY time is less important than THEIRS

Call for appointment, car service or school conference

Email teachers, coaches or editors/agents

Throw dinner in the crock pot

Go through looming pile of papers on my desk

Finish editing latest manuscript

Paint and ink drawings from yesterday


So, you get the idea. Your list items may vary but I am sure it is at least as long as mine with just as many random, un-related things to get done.


But my day typically goes like this:

Make coffee

Get the kiddos on the bus

Start straightening the kitchen and find one of the kids report cards/A+ report/100% homework and run into the office to file it in their file. Man, these files are so thick, I should go through them and weed out the papers I don't need to keep anymore. *sob, sob* Look how sweet his/her handwriting was back then! I think this should go in the scrapbook next to his/her Kindergarten class photo. Where is that scrapbook anyway?

Back out past the kitchen to look for the scrapbook and notice the dishwasher door is still open from when I started an hour ago. Finish putting plates and silverware in from last night's dinner, add last scoop of soap, start.

Add "dishwasher soap" to grocery list and head to pantry to see if there is anything else that needs to be added...wow, that's pretty bare...glad "grocery shopping" is on my list. Wait. Wasn't there a nursery rhyme about cupboards being bare? Yeah. Then there was that book, One of Each, (is that what it was called?) that was a spin on it...is that what it was called? Gotta check amazon.com, this will drive me nuts....

Yep, ONE OF EACH! Love that book! Love Amazon. I wonder if you can search story lines on Amazon...this would be a great place to do some research for stories to re-tell. Re-tellings are quite the rage right now! Search 'Children's Books'. Search 'Children's story themes'. Search 'How to make money at home'. Search .... ok, coffee has kicked in, time for a potty break.

Pick up a writer's magazine on the way into the powder room. Interrupt myself momentarily to quickly go grab a highlighter to make note of the websites for writers and the links for editors looking for new talent. Flush.

Head back to the computer to check out some of these writer's mags new finds...WOAH, I haven't checked my email yet. Open window, Sign in. Speaking of messages, I wonder who's on Facebook this morning? Open window, Sign in. Oh, geez, I need to promote my blog on Twitter. Open window, Sign in. Blog? MY BLOG! How long as it been since I posted? Open window, Sign in. Who was that other Mommy Blogger that wanted me to check out her blog? Open window, Sign in. WHY THE FREAK IS MY COMPUTER SO SLOW THIS MORNING?! Well, while it works out its issues, I can get back to looking for that scrapbook.

Where is it? Living room? Nope. Kids' rooms? Nope. Office? Oh, right I packed it away for that Scrapbooking Retreat I had to cancel out on when the kids got sick. CRAP! Sick kids, I STILL haven't made those well-visits - they are going to call Child Protective Services if I wait any longer. Phone. Phone. WHERE THE FREAK IS THE PHONE? THEEEERE are his gym shorts....behind the Wii? Laundry. Crap the laundry. I wish I had a chute. I. hate. all. these. steps. Like folding laundry isn't enough work.

No detergent? Are you kidding me? Add to the list.

Man. If I don't shower, I will never get to the store and this list is growing. Back. up. the. steps.

Shampoo. Rinse. Repeat. Condition. Shower. Exfoliate. Dry. Lotion. Ick...there is something wrong with the way I look in this mirror. I HAVE to do something about my had-kids-too-long-ago-to-call-it-baby-weight body! Bet there is a magazine at the store that has one of those "I lost 95 lbs while eating cake and not exercising" stories on the cover.

Blush. Ponytail. Jeans. Hoodie. Sexy. BWaaaahhaaaa haaaa! Yeah, right!

Get to store. List. List. Crap, the list is still on the counter! Did I blow out the candle? Well, I will need a new one soon. Candle aisle. Plug-Ins...I bet I could match the scents to the candle. Oh yeah! And they are only $5. Cool. Living room. Hallway. Laundry room. Bedrooms. Bathrooms. Kitchen. Kitchen? I never put that food in the crock pot- it'll never be done in time, need to go grab something to pop in the oven when the kids get off the bus. Meat aisle. Hmmm. I wish I had a recipe. Recipe! I bet there's one in that "I lost 95 lbs while eating cake and not exercising" magazine! Magazine aisle. Got it! Page, page, page...recipe? CRAFTS! Look at those sweet crafts for Fall! Oh, wow! I could send those in for the kids' teachers! Craft aisle. Foam, glue, pipe cleaners, pumpkins? Not here. Back to produce. Produce aisle. Pumpkins. Cool, only $3 each for the cute mini ones! How many? Let's see, German teacher, Spanish teacher, Math teacher (x2), Social Studies teacher (x2), Science teacher (x2), Language Arts teacher (x2), Flute teacher, Art teacher, ladies in the office (x7), gym teacher (x2) and principal. Oh, and preschool teacher (x3). That's a lot of pumpkins. "Oh, HI!" Great, I am never going to get anything done now that SHE has spotted me. Baby aisle. "What would you get for your husband's boss's daughter's friend's baby shower?" she asks. She doesn't like my Fall Pumpkin craft idea. Make excuses and head to register. I think 2 1/2 hours at WalMart is way too many.

$115.00?! For Glade plug-ins and pumpkins. Terrific. I look at my watch. No time to put stuff back and have cashier cancel the sale, the bus will be pulling up any minute. Rush to car. Cell phone rings...THERE'S the phone! Why couldn't I find it earlier when I needed to call..."Hello. Um. No. Yes. On my way." CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! No bus at house. Supposed to pick up kids at school. Gymnastics is tonight.

Dear Hubby will come home to a messy kitchen and no dishwasher powder or crock pot meal Pizza Night, a cluttered messy living room with scrapbooks thrown from corner to corner an awesome-smelling house, a showered wife and an overdrawn checkbook from WalMart trip kids doing pumpkin crafts at the table and a computer that is on the fritz because it is STILL trying to open 37 new windows.

I'd say it was a perfect example of what happens when a side-tracked, too creative, list-forgetting mom decides to be productive productive DAY!

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