Do you know the stickers I mean? The ones people plaster on their car rear windows for all the world to see? (International bloggers, is this a solely American phenomenon?)
Since I live in Manhattan and fewer people drive cars here, I have been somewhat more insulated from this annoying fad than I would be if I lived in the suburbs, but it's something that bothers me all the same.
What is the purpose of these decals? They strike me as slightly self-aggrandizing, not to mention potentially unsafe. (Broadcasting your children's names on your car - brilliant idea!)
And perhaps needless to say, but there seem to be no family stickers for those without children. Oh wait, since we're childless, maybe we don't even qualify as a family...er...sorry, I forgot...no family here - just Mo and Will. Nothing to see here, folks, just keep on moving.
So I had to ask myself, Why do these stickers irk me so?
Honestly, it's because they seem to be yet another unintended sucker punch from the fertile world. Another proclamation of fertile people's normality, their damn irritating fecundity. And another reminder of my defectiveness, my barreness, my pronounced child-killing abilities.
But a little part of me thinks it would be awesome to get the conversation started, to not have so much of all our suffering be silent, not to mention how cool it would be to pull up behind someone else's car and see that she too struggles with infertility and loss - for a moment to cut through the isolation of it all.
So herewith I present Mo and Will's New Stick Figure Family Car Window Sticker, coming to you courtesy of this website:
If I did stick this decal on my car, here's what I would secretly want to say:
Fertile world, here's my family. It's not the way I hoped it would be but this is how it is, so far, at least. Deal with it, OK? I have to deal with you - and the reminders of our heartbreak - every day.
Grumble grumble, grouse, grumble.