Still Working on the Process


That is where I am at.  Still 40 pounds less than back in January so that is good, but still only 40 pounds less and still (STILL!) six pounds away from being in a healthy BMI.  I've been hanging out in this zone for almost forever it seems.  I've attempted short bursts of resolve - well, no - I've attempted long bursts of resolve, but only gotten a short distance - very short.  

I've wined and dined and eaten big portions and small portions.  I've woken up early and gone to the gym.  I've gone jogging on Saturdays and swimming on Sundays.  I've lifted a few weights.  I've gotten stronger and I've gotten fitter.  But nothing really seems to make a dent in the weight except for that stupid gosh darn calorie counting.

I sure do find that...not a very exciting or motivating realization.

I recently traveled for a couple weeks and I didn't even try to worry about what I was eating.  I could have modified some of my portions, but when one orders a reuben sandwich, who the heck is going to set half of it aside?!  Certainly not I.  It's kind of like the rules of the game are that you HAVE to eat what is placed in front of you - as if you don't really have a choice.  I played that game quite willingly.

I assumed I'd gain a bit of weight and I was a bit sure that my jeans, which were slightly snug, were going to become uncomfortable.  They didn't.  Well, slightly, but not horribly.  It wasn't because I wasn't eating more, but because I was walking more - lots of walking - lots and lots.

And you know what's great?  My feet didn't hurt after all that walking.  They felt just fine.  In the past they would have ached and this time they didn't.  And I wasn't tired either.  I was quite content to walk and walk.

And what else is great is that I felt more confident.  I packed clothes that I knew would look okay on me.  I didn't fret over what would magically make me look better than I really look. I just packed my jeans and a few shirts that fit.  It was pretty nice.  I looked okay and I felt okay.  I felt like one of the regular people and not like one of the fat people.

I was also aware of how easily I could do things with my kids like climb up tunnels and slide down slides.  It's a good feeling.

I'm going to travel again over Thanksgiving and then again in December.  My goal for those trips is just to maintain wherever I am at - or at least to only gain a few pounds.  My course of action while traveling?  Heck - exercise?  Easier said than done!

But in order to enter into those travels in good shape, I really think I ought to try to commit myself again to a bit more focused effort in the next few weeks.  I broke out the app on my iphone yesterday (MyFitness Pal) and entered in my foods.  I've failed to do it today, but I will.  It definitely makes me accountable.

No exercise for me till next week though.  I caught a nasty cold at the end of the trip and can't afford to let it get the best of me so I'm trying my best to sleep in in the mornings.

And I have my community health appointment coming up in a couple weeks.  My triglycerides haven't gone down and I think I was going to try an attempt to cut out carbs like the ones in BEER and I forget what else.  I had a plan at one point and now seems like a good chance to revisit it.  

I can stick to things for two weeks right?



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