Stitch's Han Solo Cake!

As promised, here are a couple of picture of the Han Solo Frozen in Carbonite Cake that Stitch got for her Star Wars themed birthday party, thanks to Auntie Alis. Drumroll please:

may 4th birthday cake

Here’s a close up of Han Solo:

han solo cake

Yes, it was indeed awesome. Auntie Alis and her darling hubby and her precious kids all went out of their way to make Stitch’s party fantastic. Auntie Sorcha and her sweet daughter were there as well. It was damn near idyllic.

Except for two things: I got my “special Lady time” early yet again and there was a mean little girl at the party whom we shall codename Shitty.

My special Lady time came roaring in, no warning, and was determined to join the party as a visible guest.  The Crimson Tide forced me to leave early and go home to change my clothes. Thankfully, Sorcha drove me and Alis & Co stayed to help Sweet Babou load up. I had to take a quick shower when I got home. I think Monty Python’s Black Knight had hidden in my uterus.

Monty Python's Black Knight

The unexpected onset of Bloody Sunday was nothing compared to the actions of Shitty, tho. Shitty is one of those mean little girls. A bonafide member of Future Asshats of America. She was fine for the first 45 minutes of the party, but turned evil in the Second Half. First, she cut in line for the trampoline and made the little girl she had jumped in front of cry. Stitch saw the whole thing and informed the closest adult; me. I explained (nicely) to Shitty that she had to wait her turn. After that Shitty was out for Stitch’s head. The little douchenozzle told Stitch she had a boy’s haircut, a boy’s clothes, and had throw a boy’s party because Star Wars was for boys. Gender identity is a source of anxiety for kids in this age bracket and Shitty was aiming as far below the belt as she could.

The Aunties and the Fokkers spent much time assuring Stitch that 1) she was adorable in her pixie cut and 2) no one, boy or girl, was wearing a dress that day and 3) Star Wars was for any geek to geek about regardless of genitals. Also, that Shitty is a bad person and a weed in the garden of life whom Stitch should spurn like a rabid dog.

Last night, Stitch told me it had been the best. party. ever. and she seems sanguine about it all today, so it wasn’t a big deal. Nevertheless, I am thinking of talking to her teacher about keeping Shitty the hell away from my daughter.

Someone needs to market anti-shithead spray. That would be great.

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