Stop the Insantiy! Give Your Kid a Normal Name!

I can't stand idly by and let this tragedy happen anymore.  It must stop now.

The birth of Jessica Simpson's daughter yesterday whom she named Maxwell, was the last straw.  Yes, I said daughter, not son.


Maxwell, Apple, Blue Ivy, Bronx, Pilot, Banjo, Bluebell, Dandelion, Mars.  These are all real names given to celebrity children.  

Has no one thought of the children?  Can the benefit of being the child of a fabulously wealthy celebrity offset years of abuse for a stupid name?  Does "uniqueness" outweigh a lifetime of derision and name calling and not being taken seriously?  Additionally, some of these people aren't even wealthy celebrities anymore.  What if one day, you combine having a stupid name with being the child of a washed up, has been, broke down, now working at Old town Country Buffet, ex-celebrity?  That child was just meant for a life of despair.  Can't we please think of the children?

"Hi my name is Dusti and my Dad is Vanilla Ice."  (true story)  You may as well give that child a crack pipe, stripper pole, and a gun to rob a Blockbuster Video.  It's going to happen.

Oh yes, we get it, you are soooo artsy and hip.  No, you're not, you're ridiculous and assinine!

So please.  Think of their future.  Think of our future.  A child's name is worth a thousand words.  Er... wait.  Um, it takes a village to name a child.  Ok, anyway... stop giving kids stupid-ass names.  I don't want to elect President Moxie Crimefighter Jilette (Penn Jilette's kid) one day.  Give now to the "Stop the Stupid Names Fund".  *Shakin' Ma Head*





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