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My name is Renée and after working over a decade of working in public health I decided to work from home after the birth of my son. After taking the...
 
 
 
 

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Stranger Slaps Two Year Old in Walmart

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On Monday Roger Stephens allegedly slapped the face of a two-year-old girl four or five times in a Stone Mountain, Georgia Walmart. Mr. Stephens is not a relative or friend of the family. According to the mother he approached her and said “Shut that baby up or I’ll do it for you,” apparently she didn’t heed his warning and after the altercation Mr. Stephens quipped, “I told you I would shut her up.” He is currently being detained without bond and being charged with first-degree cruelty to children.

My first response to this story was “What the hell?” I’ve never even considered the possibility of a stranger hitting my child in my presence. The incident occurred at a Walmart not far from my home and I have shopped there a couple of times with my two-year old child in tow. Now I have to be on alert for random strangers hitting my child if he cries. I’m also forced to have an action plan if indeed a stranger decides to hit my son. I think that if this happened to me there would potentially be two people in jail because I am pretty damn sure that I would defend my child, especially since I don’t slap him myself!

I am well aware that a crying child can be a nuisance. In fact, my two year old and I were on a five-hour plane ride from hell this past weekend. The woman behind me was traveling with three children. For the entire flight I gave her evil eye because she refused to keep them from hitting my seat, didn’t soothe her fussy baby (instead she gave her to the oldest to hold) and generally made the entire trip miserable for everyone involved. I however never once thought that I needed to intervene unless of course it was directly to the mother. As a parent I wanted to empathize but five hours was too much for anyone to bear! I heard an audible sigh of relief from everyone around me when our flight was over.

I know that children cry and my son has been “that child” briefly on an airplane but I have learned to prepare him for our trips and keep him amused. I refrain from taking him to the store when he is tired or fussy but I know that sometimes things happen. And inevitably a child will act out in public. All children do this at least once, my son’s first public tantrum was with my mother. She is not strong enough to snatch him up so he just had a moment sprawled out on the ground in a pharmacy until he could get himself together.

His behavior did not demonstrate a lack of home training; he is a two year old and is testing the waters. I am sure he annoyed people but like most parents, my mother did the best she could in this circumstance. And no outsider was entitled to step in and discipline my child for my mother. It is reprehensible for a stranger to place a hand on a child. Numerous bloggers are chiming in about the incident.

Nina of Playground for Parents writes:
“Traumatizing is an understatement, for both the little girl and her mother. I'm trying to put myself in that mom's place, and the protective mechanism in my brain simply won't let me. I can't go there. I start to get dizzy when I try to visualize it happening to my child. Is it possible to puke, pass out, scream, cry, and decapitate someone all at the same time? If so, then I imagine that's what I would do.

But, this I know for sure: if it did happen to my daughter, and the man was arrested, and we knew when his arraignment was, I would NOT be able to hold my husband back. All glorious 6 feet 4 inches of my husband. And to be honest with you, I wouldn't even want to hold him back. Come to think of it, I would not be able to hold my mother back either.”

Amy of When Falls the Coliseum would take matters into her own hands:

So, what if that was my kid? Would I be too stunned and freeze with fear. No way. I can say with 100% confidence that I wouldn’t freeze. And now that this has happened to someone else I will be prepared with a reaction should some unlucky fellow try to

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kimsisto 5 pts

You know how a tiger is when she is protecting her cubs?  Well, Mr. Freak would have had his damn eyes clawed out.  I would probably be in jail right now!  Seriously. Nobody touches my kids unless they want to be murdered!!!!

AmberS 5 pts

I am so shocked. I'm glad this man is in jail. I cannot even imagine how I would react.

I have 2 kids, they're 1 and 4 years old. Over my years as a parent I've had my share of public tears. It's no fun, and I do everything I can to avoid it. Crying kids are annoying but they're not harmful, though, and I think it's something that you have to be understanding about. Especially in a place like WalMart, which is chock full of families and kids.

I've also had experiences where adults react negatively to my kids when they're behaving beautifully. Recently in a family restaurant, for example, my children were eating quietly and a mother and her adult son pointed at us and asked to be seated elsewhere because they wanted a 'quiet dinner'. In a family restaurant. I will do my best not to inconvenience you, but my children's mere existence is not an inconvenience. They have rights like everyone else to be out in the world. If you don't want to see them, perhaps you should frequent places that don't cater to young families so much.

~ Amber

www.strocel.com ( http://www.strocel.com )

ReneeJRoss 5 pts

Luckily for me my son hasn't given me any problems in stores. I find that keeping him in the cart helps since they usually keep toys and things at eye level and he is elevated. I think I will adopt your policy of setting ground rules too to prevent any breakdowns in the future. I'll let you know how it goes!

Cutie Booty Cakes ( http://cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com/ )

ReneeJRoss 5 pts

High Five to you because I am pretty sure if I had been involved a similar headline would be running!

Cutie Booty Cakes ( http://cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com/ )

ReneeJRoss 5 pts

You are right parents have many things to juggle and sometimes a sitter or leaving a child home is not an option. It is not clear what that man was thinking, obviously he wasn't thinking at all. I have to say that the woman in the library should have taken her child outside before the librarian asked her to, it is a library after all. Although I will let my son cry it out at home I don't do that in public places simply because I know it can be a nuisance to others.

Cutie Booty Cakes ( http://cutiebootycakes.blogspot.com/ )

zoedoom 5 pts

I am not a parent, and I have been annoyed by more than a few screaming children in public places. Annoyed, yes, but I realize that it's not the child's fault that he is bored, hungry, tired, uncomfortable, or otherwise upset. I also realize that parents need to take their kids with them sometimes and babysitters or day cares are not valid options. I have seen some awful behavior, but I have never and will never tell a parent to control his or her child. Raising my hand is just unthinkable. I may grumble under my breath, but that's as far as I'd take it.

I was in the library last week, and there was a woman there with her daughter, who was probably around two. The little girl was screaming at the top of her lungs --just screaming and screaming. The mother made no effort to comfort or quiet the child; she just continued browsing DVDs like nothing was going on. The librarian eventually asked her to leave, and I can't say I blame them.

I'm glad that charges are being pressed against the horrible man who did that. This incident would be traumatizing for the mother, the child, and possibly witnesses!

Modern Poverty ( http://modernpoverty.wordpress.com )

Leighbra 5 pts

When my daughter was an infant, I had her in the shopping cart and a local store's equivalent of a blue light special went off exactly where I was standing. Within a second, a mob of women running from all corners of the store had trapped me where I was.

A woman grabbed the cart and pulled it away from me, to get between the cart and the special. You would not believe the mama bear that came out of me, chastizing that woman, the women around her, and getting my daughter back.

Let's just say that none of those women ended up filling the hole in their hearts with their 25 cent Hershey bars that day. 25c candy bars are NOT worth separating a mother from her child.

What I hope I would have done in her place is be more aware of my surroundings, and act first, instead of respond. If a man is making violent, threatening remarks around you, get the hell away. I hate to be paranoid, but I don't like strangers too close to my kids, and would have assumed the worst from what that guy said to begin with. Call store security. Someone thinking you're over reacting is way better than some ahole slapping your 2 year old :(

Merlene 5 pts

My policy when my children were small was immediate removal via closest exit. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.

One thing I discovered really early on with my kids was that if I laid out the rules and expectations of a visit to a store or the mall I would not have problems.

Before entering the mall that we'd typically shop at I would have a brief chat with them and say something like: Ok we are going to the mall, I have to shop in these stores (listing them) but we are not buying any toys today. If you want to look at things in the Disney Store after we finish the shopping we have to do we can but remember we are not buying any toys today. We are not buying anything at the Disney Store today. But you can look if you let Mum do her shopping.

Even as young as 18 months my kids understood this speech. I gave it every single time we'd go shopping. The one (and believe me only one) time I forgot to give the speech my daughter (then 2 or so) pitched an all out fit because I wouldn't buy toys. I'd neglected to give the speech and to her mind that meant she'd get a toy that day. I literally walked away from my shopping cart carrying a shrieking toddler and went home. I gave it a day or two then went back to the mall and never forgot the speech again LOL.

She's 19 and I still do it - Ok we're going to the mall yes but we are NOT buying you new shoes today.  ;)

As to someone striking my child? I'm not a voilent person but I'd definitely turn into Mama T-Rex right about then. The Hulk would have nothing on me.

~ Merlene Paynter

FrugalFamilyLife.com

FridgeForagers.com

twitter.com/merlene

mylifewithkids 5 pts

Well I'd like to say that I would stand up for my child and my son and thank God it has never been put to the test.  I am sure parents everywhere would be outraged.  The worst that ever happened to me was in church.  After service a lady came up to me and said that I "need to control my child better" since he was talking during the mass.  Happily at least three people overheard the comment and took up the fight for me.  Saying that a child of two (at the time) could hardly be expected to sit still and quiet for an hour service and isn't it a wonderful thing that families take their children to service.    So to those ladies if you are out there, Thank you.

aftercancer 5 pts

if it had been one of my children. Probably would have read more like "Walmart Customer Slapped into Coma by Justified Mother"

Kate

I blog at http://www.aftercancernowwhat.com