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On Monday Roger Stephens allegedly slapped the face of a two-year-old girl four or five times in a Stone Mountain, Georgia Walmart. Mr. Stephens is not a relative or friend of the family. According to the mother he approached her and said “Shut that baby up or I’ll do it for you,” apparently she didn’t heed his warning and after the altercation Mr. Stephens quipped, “I told you I would shut her up.” He is currently being detained without bond and being charged with first-degree cruelty to children.
My first response to this story was “What the hell?” I’ve never even considered the possibility of a stranger hitting my child in my presence. The incident occurred at a Walmart not far from my home and I have shopped there a couple of times with my two-year old child in tow. Now I have to be on alert for random strangers hitting my child if he cries. I’m also forced to have an action plan if indeed a stranger decides to hit my son. I think that if this happened to me there would potentially be two people in jail because I am pretty damn sure that I would defend my child, especially since I don’t slap him myself!
I am well aware that a crying child can be a nuisance. In fact, my two year old and I were on a five-hour plane ride from hell this past weekend. The woman behind me was traveling with three children. For the entire flight I gave her evil eye because she refused to keep them from hitting my seat, didn’t soothe her fussy baby (instead she gave her to the oldest to hold) and generally made the entire trip miserable for everyone involved. I however never once thought that I needed to intervene unless of course it was directly to the mother. As a parent I wanted to empathize but five hours was too much for anyone to bear! I heard an audible sigh of relief from everyone around me when our flight was over.
I know that children cry and my son has been “that child” briefly on an airplane but I have learned to prepare him for our trips and keep him amused. I refrain from taking him to the store when he is tired or fussy but I know that sometimes things happen. And inevitably a child will act out in public. All children do this at least once, my son’s first public tantrum was with my mother. She is not strong enough to snatch him up so he just had a moment sprawled out on the ground in a pharmacy until he could get himself together.
His behavior did not demonstrate a lack of home training; he is a two year old and is testing the waters. I am sure he annoyed people but like most parents, my mother did the best she could in this circumstance. And no outsider was entitled to step in and discipline my child for my mother. It is reprehensible for a stranger to place a hand on a child. Numerous bloggers are chiming in about the incident.
Nina of Playground for Parents writes:
“Traumatizing is an understatement, for both the little girl and her mother. I'm trying to put myself in that mom's place, and the protective mechanism in my brain simply won't let me. I can't go there. I start to get dizzy when I try to visualize it happening to my child. Is it possible to puke, pass out, scream, cry, and decapitate someone all at the same time? If so, then I imagine that's what I would do.
But, this I know for sure: if it did happen to my daughter, and the man was arrested, and we knew when his arraignment was, I would NOT be able to hold my husband back. All glorious 6 feet 4 inches of my husband. And to be honest with you, I wouldn't even want to hold him back. Come to think of it, I would not be able to hold my mother back either.”
Amy of When Falls the Coliseum would take matters into her own hands:
So, what if that was my kid? Would I be too stunned and freeze with fear. No way. I can say with 100% confidence that I wouldn’t freeze. And now that this has happened to someone else I will be prepared with a reaction should some unlucky fellow try to
