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Much better than snakes, time spent on an airplane gives us time and an opportunity to make connections with other humans who are total strangers. Recently I've run across several stories of humanity on display on or near airplanes that range from humorous and insightful, to breathtaking in their exposure of the depth to which we can affect another human being by making a decision in a moment to open or harden our hearts.
We all encounter such moments in life, not just on airplanes and in airports. I tend to close off and stick my nose in a book to indicate that I don't want to talk. Not always, though. Sometimes I leave my mind open to the possibility to conversation, I look at people directly and say hello. If a stranger speaks to me I try to respond and not fall back on my default position of tightening up and closing myself off as my inner introvert is wont to do. I'm working on recognizing myself in everyone else, knowing that the possibility of a connection is presenting itself for a reason and understanding that perhaps there is a lesson I need to learn or teach.
When we are talking about such encounters taking place on an airplane, before we can be open to engaging in pleasant chit-chat let alone real conversation, we need to be comfortable with the act of flying itself and many people are not. Author Susan Piver offers the idea of asking for help and making human connection as a way of becoming fearless:
I hate to fly. I hate it. Sometimes I even have panic attacks. I've tried all sorts of strategies to get over this—breathing exercises, visualizations, and Valium. None of these helped all that much. Here's what did: I told someone on the plane that I was afraid to fly, and he offered to get me a glass of water. That's it. To my surprise, I calmed down on the spot. I learned that getting someone to care about me, even for a moment, even if he or she is just pretending, calms me down. The truth is that 99 percent of humanity is good. When you are vulnerable, people actually want to protect you. When you know this, you can relax. The likelihood is that someone will be there for you.
Ann Handley of Marketing Profs was killing time waiting for a flight when the simple words "Hey, Pretty Lady!" stopped her in her tracks and led her to sit down for a shoe shine, to listen to a story and to have a bit of a laugh after a realization:
All the while, of course, George was unperturbed. He chatted as he worked, about his wife, and kids, and grandkids, about his life in Ecuador that he had left 10 years ago to come to Boston.
“The beautiful place, Ecuador,” he said. “You know it? You been…?
“Oh…” he said, sounding disappointed, when I said I hadn’t. He drew a map in the air of where it sat in South America, next to Columbia and Peru. “But you must go, Lady. You must.”
You must go read the rest of her post on her personal blog Annarchy to learn the hilarious lesson gained as to why women don't usually get their shoes shined in an airport.
Sarah Dopp writes: "I think enough time has passed that the story can be told..." and that story is "How to Stop an Angry Man from Killing People"
I broke the ice by asking what time zone Texas was in, and he quickly became kind and friendly. Twitchy, though. A little nervous and angry about something. Depressed. He got to talking and some mentioned family issues, and then quickly added that he didn’t want to talk about them. But he wanted to talk, so I put on my best “attentive listener” face.
Within an hour, I learned that he was flying to Austin to kill his brother-in-law and then kill himself.
You must go read the rest of her post on her personal blog Dopp Juice to learn how Sarah's decision in that moment to connect with the humanity in an angry man quite possibly saved several lives. Please be sure to read the comments, as well.
At the other end of the spectrum, Tamara K. Nopper experienced the pain of having her humanity painfully devalued and disrespected on a flight where she had to sit in agony unable to escape the racist, misogynistic humans
