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YahooAbout 5 years ago I became the sole breadwinner when we made the decision for my husband to stay home with my oldest son at 10 weeks old. Over the years this experience has been quite challenging and not what I expected. My husband was never overly ambitious and my youngest will be in school full time in 3 years. I wonder at times (a lot) if he'll ever go back to work. My struggle is less with the day to day over extension of myself, I'm used to running on all cylinders all the time now, but more with our roles. I find myself resenting him for being a man. He can do the stay at home parent job half way and all I hear is how hard etc.., yet a woman would do 3 times as much without a batting an eye. I realize it's VERY hard to stay home, I really do. But, when I see him on the computer facebooking, playing games and the house is a mess....I boil.
My research on this topic has led to a lot of cheerleading type articles, with husbands who are outgoing and do the school activities and playdates or who were once successful in their own right. I have always made more money and been the sole supporter for 10 of our 15 years.
He really is a great father, but I struggle to stay positive.
I have no other friends in my same situation. I feel very isolated at times. Is there anyone else out there struggling as well and how do you cope??
I feel you. My fiance was out of work for 8 months, got a job, and then got fired after 3 weeks (long story short, his boss was a jerk). We live together and have a dog, and sometimes I want to scream at him for not doing simple things like cleaning and doing the dishes. We've talked about it a few times, and his depression over not being able to "be the man" in the relationship has somewhat crippled him from being a partner in our relationship. He's started doing better, but sometimes we still fight because he says he needs money for this or that while I'm struggling to pay the bills. I feel like I have some perspective on the situation, though, since my dad is retired but my mom still works. He's been trying to give my fiance tips on finding jobs and how to not make me mad when I get home from work. It's definitely a struggle, but we've learned that talking things through really does seem to help the situation.
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