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Sparkle (0)
So there's this couple I adore. They are smart, funny, creative, passionate and will come out with statements that make laugh so hard you fear you'll actually perform a "spit take". They have a son who constantly amazes me with his awesomeness. They created an amazing business together, a place full of creative work and passionate volunteers who work tirelessly towards a common vision. They recently raised a bunch of money, renovated a space and finally made their dream come true. They live in the Northern part of my county and because we are decidedly to the South, we rarely get to see them. But when we do I find myself wanting more. If I haven't already made this perfectly clear, I love these people.
So you can imagine my surprise when I talked to the wife today and she told me her husband had walked out on her and their son. Totally out of the blue, she told me. He hasn't walked away from their business, but I wonder how that'll ultimately work out. And what the hell do I say to this man that I have admired and adored for all these years? How do I justify what he has done with who we all thought he was?
When I told my mom about this she reminded me of her theory about why so many men have a good old fashioned mid-life crisis. It has to do with success. See, most men fall in love when they are young and poor and striving to become what they know they can be. They marry the woman who will support them in this journey, propping him up when needed and seeing through his failures to who he really is. But when that success finally comes, he doesn't always want the reminder of who he used to be. Especially if there happens to be a young, wide-eyed woman looking up at him and believing he's always been the brilliant man that stands before her today. Most men are not seduced by the potential trophy wife so much as by her vision of themselves reflected in those big adoring eyes.
Makes sense to me.
But does this mean that in order to keep the men we love we must not see them succeed? And if we accept that to be true, does that also mean that we cannot ourselves achieve success? And how messed up is that?!
What do you think? Is my mom brilliant? Is there another theory that will explain the mid-life crisis? Discuss.
