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We were talking about birthing plans, and I didn’t know anything about them. Should I do one? What would it say? My younger sister, who has no children, goes to me, “No offense, but I feel like I know more about this than you do.” Ouch.
I’m the willfully ignorant mother-to-be. Of course I want to prevent harm to my baby, but I have to believe in the true definition of mother wit- that at the very deepest level, my body knows what to do to grow a good baby as long as I avoid the bad stuff and eat lots of kale. But it's hard in an information-obsessed world to maintain such a compass. The books are all there by my bed- from Dr. Sears to Sheila Kitzinger to the dread “What to Expect,” and my personal favorite torture-and-guilt-inducing-anxiety machine, “The Complete Organic Pregnancy.”
And I leaf through them, and I read magazines in the doctor’s office, but largely, I don’t want to know anymore. Too much information is confusing and disheartening. Like diet books, Suze Orman, and fashion magazines, pregnancy reading all seems designed to make you second-guess every action and feel very guilty for what you do. One book says no caffeine, one says two cups a day is fine, my doctor doesn’t blink when I tell her I have a cup a day. The book said I should gain 5 lbs in the first trimester; I gained 20. The happy and prolific Searses told me I’d often feel euphoric during the second trimester. I’m in my third now and I’m still waiting. And don’t even get me started on the part that predicts when your sex drive will go crazy…(my husband just says “the whole thing is a lie”). The books can make me feel like I’m doing pregnancy all wrong.
The magazines, on the other hand, make me feel like if I just bought more, everything would be fine. The ultimate was the ad in Fit Pregnancy magazine: “Don’t let your child be born behind!” it warned, while promoting some device that supposedly enhances vocabulary in the womb.
Even my trashy magazines aren’t safe; I read in Us Magazine that Rebecca Romijn craves goat cheese- “but it’s a no no for expectant moms.” Oops. The cheese master at Whole Foods told me goat was fine and I’ve been eating it ever since.
Sorry to whine, but where can I turn for advice if not to the experts? I may just have to take it all with a grain of salt, and try to summon some common sense.
Am I fit to be a mommyblogger?
I feel as if this is a coming out day of sorts. For about three years, I’ve blogged about Politics for BlogHer.com and other sites. Nothing personal. Then, Lisa Stone asked me if I wanted to be BlogHer’s Pregnancy/New Baby CE, because I’m expecting my first baby in January. As hard as it is for me to think of myself as this mythical mom-like being after I’ve been a just a person for over three decades, it’s harder for me to think about writing about it.
Part of it is that women who blog about motherhood are intimidating. When I think of my favorite mommybloggers like Rita Arens and Liz Gumbinner or any number of women at BlogHer I get nervous.
But I’m going to grin and bear it for a few reasons:
- Lisa asked me
- It’s relevant to my work. Several years ago, after working in corporate settings and political campaigns, I decided to go back to school and study what makes work, work. Now, helping employers and employees figure out how to incorporate flexibility is my work. (And it’s not just for women, men like flexibility too!). So I figure writing about being a working mother to be, and then mother, is field research of a sort.
- As a mother to be, my passion about our country is really ignited and I am excited to talk to other smart women about what to do about it. Before, I could read something like this recent study about the fallacies of John McCain's health care plan:
A study released today by Health Affairs shows that Senator McCain's health plan would cause an estimated 20 million people to lose their employer-sponsored health care -- leaving them to fend for themselves in a wild-west individual health insurance market. McCain plans to tax
