Is Suicide Selfish?

I've written a short story 'The Selfish Act' which provides food for thought on the issue. It's available for Kindle and is on free promotion at the moment.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Selfish-Act-ebook/dp/B006KIXMYW/?tag=rosent-21

I am the parent of four lovely kids. I also tried to commit suicide a few years ago. Fortunately, I failed. This was not a "selfish" act, in that my sense of "self" was completely destroyed at the time.

I have since sought and received help, and am fairly stable. My fears about how my children will cope with the stigma (both public and internally) has helped me to tread the straight and narrow.

Yes, suicide is selfish, in that it deals with the "self" (or lack thereof), but no, it is not a selfish act in the usual sense, as the sense of self is often totally negated. People who attempt or succeed at suicide deserve help, compassion and understanding. The survivors of those who succeed require the same, in bucket-loads.

Thanks for the post. This is a subject that needs to be discussed openly.

I definitely agree with your post, it's not selfish and it's a mental illness--these people who suffer deserve the help they need. Good blog!

I have a girlfriend who's adult, childless, daughter committed suicide. Her mother is a wreck. It's been 5 yrs.Why..no one knows. We know now she was sick mentally. It was her life to do whatever she pleased with... and she did.

I think it's not only selfish but it's the last punishing blow to the living. It's the easy way out of dealing with the turbulence that is life! We are left with so many unanswered questions. The living are left with all the why's and what did I do wrong and how could I have saved a person who really didn't want to be saved. The living are left feeling guilty,tormented and depressed.

Sure mental illness is serious and who am I too say what sends a person over the edge. I just firmly believe no two days are the same! tomorrow will not be like today, I promise you everyday is different some better than others but different just the same. We all suffer tough times and sometime we feel like we can't take anymore...but an eternal rest before your time isn't the answer. Hold on, pray, find some purpose,volunteer for the hungry and homeless, write,create, change how you feel about your self image,look at you children! Love your life it is truly a gift.

thank you.

I can only relate personal subjective realities and experiences. When I thought I needed lots of spiritual/mental help, the bad feelings that you speak of disappeared once I started on a regimen of borage seed oil. My overall disposition further improved when I changed to a raw foods, blue-green algae lifestyle; my disposition further improved when I got to work on clearing my mind of stuck past memories and losses with some borrowed processes, which I use everyday to give my mind a good clearing out.

Still a lot of work to do on the mind, but the body imbalances have been largely resolved. I am more aware that I can doff the body if I wish, but not so easily the mind, and I would not want to let go of the body until I'm certain I'm not going to be lugging around this ole mind-matter.

An interesting experience I also had was when I heard about an old Yogi trick of stopping the breath, thus the heart, and consciously depart the body -- after saying the proper goodbyes of course. I took about one-half a Saturday and finally stopped breathing, doing this in a spirit of play the whole time, and I separated out from the body. But I saw a whole bunch of junk that I was carrying with me and that convinced me that I had to get rid of all that junky energy before I could take off and be totally free as a bird. Just when I had that thought too, I became aware of a disembodied being entering the room and coming over to me and poking me in the side. The tickle made me laugh -- one breath in. Then, just for good measure it poked me in the other side, another breath taken in. Body and me all back to normal, no harm done, much insight, and the being whizzed out the house as if it had an appointment with God. Honest truth.

I agree completely. Mental illness is a touchy subject for everyone. The "crazy" stereotype has mysticized the entire subject and most people don't even want to touch upon the subject, let alone understand someone who is suffering from it. Society places such a stigma on mental illness vs. physical illness. Someone with cancer they can sympathize with, but someone with a mental illness is their own problem. Except for drug addiction. This is the one mental disease people seem to be willing to have an open mind to, but that is only because it is so glamorized by the celebrity contingency. And most times, drug addiction is a result of other underlying, untreated or undiagnosed mental illnesses. On whole, we, as a society, have to start raising mental illness awareness and demystify it so people no longer react to mental illnesses in fear. They aren't contagious. They aren't freakish. And educating yourself about anything makes it 100% less fearsome.

Thank you so much for posting this. A friend of mine recently lost her son this way at 19. He was sick and no one knew it. He didn't say anything to the adults in his life, just his friends and unfortunately, they didn't take him seriously. We need to educate our youth to ALWAYS take it seriously.

I lost a friend to suicide, and was angry with him. Then 6 months later, another friend attempted suicide and survived. Her retelling of the events and how she felt in the moment went a long way toward allowing me to forgive the first friend. I hope none of us every feels the kind of pain that they did.

I had a brother commit suicide and I will admit for many years I thought it was selfish of him to do what he did and inflict the pain that followed in our family for years to come. However, now that I am older, I realize it was selfish of me to feel this way.

No, I don't think suicide is selfish for the reasons you gave. I have been touched by suicide through getting therapy. I sought group therapy and one of the members committed suicide. Then later I saw a therapist who committed suicide. That just floored me as she was the best therapist I ever had. She really got what made me tick and was helping me so much. I don't know why she committed suicide. I suspect it was a mix of her struggles with both chronic pain & mental illness. The combination must have been really difficult to deal with. I still find myself seeking that therapist who can understand me like she did. I miss her.

I know I"ve shared with you that my father committed suicide when I was beginning First Grade.

I remember people saying at the funeral,"how could he DO THAT to them?

And , even at that age, I thought: he didn't do this to us.

Instinctively, I knew.

Thank you for this post. I knew, for my father, he was no other way out.

And from what I've pieced together: society did let him down.

Regarding this topic, I highly recommend "Half in Love: Surviving the Legacy of Suicide" by Linda Gray Sexton. Linda's mother was Anne Sexton, an award-winning poet who committed suicide. The book opened my eyes to the reasons behind that kind of choice. Here is a book review if you're interested: http://talesfromclarkstreet.blogspot.com/2011/03/half-in-love-surviving-legacy-of.html

I know words are sometimes difficult to parse, bit with respect, I think "selfish" is perhaps not the best word to use. It implies judgment. "Tragic" is the word I use for suicide. It is tragic for the one who suicided and tragic for life long agony and loss often left in its wake. My dear colleague suicided after the department mistreated her and she slipped into black depression. I wrote my book to say she mattered, she was here. I still miss her, and her work continues.

Do you think that only mentally ill people commit suicide? Would the same be true for those who choose assisted suicide? (I'm genuinely curious and don't mean this in any trite way.)

Unless you have suffered from severe depression...been in that *black hole* yourself, you have no business judging others. You really have no idea what's going on inside this person's mind.

I would like to thank you for posting this!! September 15th I will be there for my fiance when he goes through the day he lost his best friend to suicide! He found him! It's taken it's toll on him and I almost feel like his friend would have reached out if society didn't make a person feel selfish about doing something like this or thinking it! I urge everyone feeling this way to get help (if you have to drive to the next town to avoid the stigma do it) because every 16 seconds someone losing their life to suicide ... every 17 seconds someone finds them and loses a part of their life too!!!

Selfish or not, suicide always had and I think always will carry a stigma with it. Not only for the person who committed suicide but also for the family that is left behind. Written from the perspective of a child whose Dad committed suicide.