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Kat Spitzer The Happy Hypochondriac www.happyhypochondriac.com
Last week, while in Orlando, we took the kids to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I say we took the kids. The truth is, we probably enjoyed it as much as, if not more, than the kids. Sure, we've been reading the books with them but we've only approached the end of book three with them. My husband and I, on the other hand, have read them all and used to clobber each other to finish first the one copy we owned of each book when it arrived at our doorstep, pre-ordered. Walking through Hogwarts, my husband said, "I've got chills." Yes, we are complete freak nerds. But I have a feeling there are a few million more just like us, who couldn't wait to down their own frothy butter beer (delicious!) and try an over priced box of Every Flavored Beans (I got an ear wax one...gross).
Meanwhile, the kids loved it (I mean, it's really about them, is what I'm trying to say). Eventually, however, the pumpkin juice took a toll on my 3-year-old daughter and we had to find a bathroom. Even Moaning Myrtle couldn't keep me smiling in the next instant. As I bent over to help my daughter in the stall, my sunglasses leaped off my head, rather defiantly, and decided to make a run for it, sliding through toilet floor liquid (O.M.G.!!) and into the next stall, behind my neighbor's toilet and completely out of reach. Not that I would have reached under/behind/in there to begin with. The woman occupying that stall spoke to me.
"Uhh, I see you lost your glasses."
"Yes I have. Do you have any suggestions?"
"I will get them for you, but you will have to wait for a few minutes."
Silence ensued. As promised, a few minutes later a hand appeared and handed me my tainted glasses. I said thank you and waited a considerable and polite amount of time before exiting my stall so that we wouldn't have to make eye contact. Ever.
I hurried over to the sink and turned the water on as boiling as it would go. I scrubbed my hands up to my elbows and then set to work scalding and soaping the glasses (These weren't cheap glasses, or I would have just thrown them away). People were staring at me and wondering why I was scouring sun glasses with soap and water. I know they thought I was a lunatic. That's okay. I wasn't going to put bathroom floor on my face. No thanks. I left the facilities and immediately obtained some hand sanitizer and went to work on the glasses for round two. These glasses are probably cleaner than when I bought them. I needed another butter beer to drown my sorrows after that little mishap. I could've used a little of Harry's magic at that point. Like maybe a forgetting spell so that I couldn't think about public bathroom while I protected my eyes.
