I've been watching this campaign more closely than ever before.

Yup, that sounds dramatic, but really - on one side you have McCain, the anti-christ, and that other guy we're pretty sure isn't going to make it. On the other side...a black guy, a white chick, and a guy who became famous for his $400 haircut. If that doesn't sound like a joke that involves "three people walk into a bar" you must not have been born with a sense of humor.

My great-grandmother (uber-liberal) wants to see Hillary win the whole thing. She's really taken with Hillary. I'm trying to decide if it's just because she's a woman, if it's still the glow of the thought of universal healthcare, or if it has to do with my great-grandmother being one of the first female Vice-Presidents of a company in downtown Chicago (requiring her to wear pants-suits and act tough.) It's like she has some connection with Hillary that I just don't understand.

It's a shame. I'd love to see a woman as president. It would make relations in other countries a little rocky (some of those countries being just a smidge anti-woman and all) but I think she could pull it off.

Obama? Gosh, I just don't know. I live in Illinois, so around here it sometimes feels like Obama is Jesus and Oprah is Mother Mary. He's so optimistic and seems so...happy. I want to trust the happy, but politicians aren't genetically able to be happy, are they? With all the scratching and biting and crawling to the top. But he skipped some of that not being a governor. How could he be a governor? I mean, he lives in Illinois.

You're not allowed to be a governor in Illinois unless your last name is Daley. It's in the rule book.

My vote? Well I have a deep fear of evangelical Christians. Not all of them, just the ones that hate working mothers, hate non-white males, and think "them gays" are going straight to hell in a handbasket. So I voted in the republican primary. For McCain.

Of course, if he wins the primary that doesn't mean I'm going to vote for him to be president. It just means that Huckabee (the antichrist I mentioned earlier) won't be anywhere near the election ticket come November.

Because let me tell you something. If Huckabee (God forbid. Yes, I mean THAT God) ends up on the ballot for president - you're going to see me at every political event and all over the Internet scrambling up support for his opponent. I don't want to, but I have no problem becoming political if I have to.

We cannot give this country to someone who believes in their own form of Jihad, can we?

I certainly hope not.