Support or Slander: Do Moms Keep Each Other Down?

Totlandia by Josie BrownTotlandia, the new multi-series story by bestselling Bay Area author Josie Brown (The Baby Planner, The Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives) takes us into the lives of the ladies of San Francisco’s most elite mommies group, where image is everything and flawlessness is the norm.

Through secrets and scandals, betrayals and bonding (and even a little bondage), Josie's series takes a light-hearted, entertaining look at the trials of early motherhood. As a San Francisco mom, I laughed out loud at the playground shenanigans. But the series also made me pause on a more serious level--core to the book's biting humor are the all-too-real judgments that mothers inflict on one another. Which made me ask: why do we moms do that to each other?

In a world of ostensibly superhuman moms like Marissa Mayer and Michelle Obama, mothers often complain about the pressure of doing it all and the improbability of having it all. Yet, I know I dropped a rung on the social ladder when my son showed up in a cliched Spiderman costume for Halloween (as opposed to a more original, hand-made one), or when instead of my time, I donated money to the preschool bake sale. We scorn stay-at-home moms and working moms equally, as if neither could hack it in the other's world. From how we look during our pregnancies to how far ahead of the curve our kids hit their developmental milestones, the journey through motherhood is fraught with expectations and insecurity. Not a very nurturing environment. 

Totlandia is a great reminder to put our over-complicated, busy lives into perspective.The lengths these mothers (and one dad) go to to make themselves belong is comical, and you know you never want to go there. So don't.

Kaamna Bhojwani-Dhawan


Twitter @momaboard


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