Suppose to...

Well, I am apart of the 'suppose to' generation. Grew up with typical, normal may even say Huxatablish home life - two parents, 3 kids and 1 van. Both parents has some college experience so I too was 'suppose to' go to and graduate college - check - did that but upon graduation realized I did not know what the next 'suppose to' or was not ready for it. So, of course I stated to listen to that VOICE that said whoa, slow this down and learn more about who, what and why you are so you can LIVE the next 30+ years without 'suppose to'. So, grad school here I come - realizing all my rebellion in my teens was the challenge in me to ask why and say that 'suppose to' is not for me! Well, old habits die hard after graduate school the desire to have a HUSBAND crept in, not that I wasin any way ready but it was the next natural 'suppose to'. I left my graduate studies to go and empower youth as a high school Englsh teacher while I secretly strategized on how to become a MRS. Well, there was 'suppose to' again I moved out into my own home, dated, played loved, traveled and then actually fell in love and married. Wanting to be sure we were good on this marriage thing spent some time being married before deciding to grow our family because I wanted 1 marriage. Now, here is my planning at work, wait 5 years then have kids well kids were not easy for us we ended up going through fertility treatments now this was not apart of the 'suppose to'. Of course this is when we have serious God conversations - which I should have been having all along through my own strategizing of how my life should be - like hey I did eveything I was 'suppose to' two degrees, got married then have children - RIGHT? Clearly that was not HIS plan so we (really me) endure 6 months of testing and get a plan that works after 2 attempts, we are pregnant -YES! That brings me to November 2011 where I thought okay MY plan had a little re-route but we are back on schedule again truly missing it, that it is not (never) my schedule but always HIS. So, everything after 11/11 was not 'suppose to' happen but it did.


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