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The day has only so many hours. We can only do so much. And there is so much in every day that we cannot change, cannot impact, no matter what we do. Yet, if you are like me, you can find many occasions in a day when you allow your spirit to be troubled and chaotic about something you cannot control. We waste our spirit's true energy, squandering it on the worthless worries in our lives.
Take traffic. You are stuck in traffic and are going to be late for some event. You've called folks to tell them, but the gridlock traffic still persists .I used to grind on about it, craning my neck to try to see what the problem was, muttering curse words under my breath, doing the in-car equivalent of a hissy fit. For what? Nothing I could do was going to change anything. I had lots of silly choices like blowing my horn (the ultimate in futile traffic efforts), turning the air blue with curt invectives about the dubious parentage of those in front of me, tensing every muscle in my body until my blood pressure raised. Or, I could just surrender. Surrender to the traffic. Let the traffic unfold itself. I cannot change the situation through any of my efforts. But I can change my reaction.
No matter what kind of hurry I am in, no matter how important my errand, no matter who is waiting for me -- unless my car can sprout wings, I am stuck. I now, calm down, make plans for a late arrival and go with the flow. We can all turn on the radio, or sing a song, or call a pal. We can say a prayer for someone that needs it. Or, we can do a mental gratitude list. Or. we can plan something that is beneficial to someone. Just breathe deeply and let the craziness go.
If you can impact the situation in a positive way, do it! If you cannot impact the situation in any positive way, then just do what my friend Andrew says -- "Bless it and release it."
The Olympics have not yet included Fretting as an event, nor Stewing, nor Senseless Worry or Future-Tripping. These things arereal soul-robbers, turning us away from the possible and the real, occasionally binding us from doing what we can or ought to do , and spinning us into the Chaos That Consumes.
Surrender is hard for me. Even if I looked up and saw writing in the sky reminding me to "Surrender, Mata H", I would still have a hard time.
I like to think of myself as competent, organized, intelligent, able. It was harder for me to surrender until someone bluntly said to me, "Just what makes you think you are so powerful that your worry will change anything?"
THUD -(the sound of Mata getting hit over the head with G-d's blunt insight frying pan.)
Sometimes, we do what we can, and then just have to trust -- trust our family members, our friends, our community, G-d, the Universe, karma, -- something! It helps me to imagine G-d's hands as gigantic, and me just walking over and surrendering whatever big or small perplexing thing has hold of me in G-d's hands. And then walking away. Find an image that brings you peace, whether it is surrender to G-d or surrender to fate, or destiny, or the universe.
I am not suggesting that we should just kick back and float. Our families and our world needs our best efforts too seriously for that indolence. I am saying that we waste energy we could spend loving in the world, healing it, working for its betterment.
We waste it in foolish ways that change nothing, or we waste it fretting while we are trying to hurry the unhurry-able. We press for results in our personal and professional lives that sometimes cannot arrive faster through pressure. There is a great saying -- "A woman cannot have a baby in 1 month by putting 9 men on the job." Some things just take time.
Assess the situation that brings you chaos, worry, frustration. What can you do (in large or small measure) to alleviate the problem? If the answer is nothing, then, "bless it and release it". Turn to those things we can do. The world is waiting for our strengthened and more focused spirits to make the right decisions in the here and now. Let your spirit find the peace
