Surviving Emotional Infidelity
Infidelity comes in different types, physical and emotional. Both hurt and can destroy a marriage. But sometimes, just sometimes people can pull together and overcome a mistake.
It is not easy and you have to be committed to making it work. You have to set boundaries, expectations and let it be known what will happen to the relationship if it happens again.
I’ve been on the hurting side of infidelity. I can tell you both kinds hurt but the emotional cheating digs deeper. Infidelity when you are pregnant cuts even deeper. Knowing your spouse has been placing ads on personal sites, while he is deployed or home, knowing he is chatting with women online, more cuts…
If I did not have children with my husband, I would no longer be married. That’s a fact, but we do have children and one has special needs. For those reasons, I chose to work things out.
His reasons for infidelity are ones I don’t understand. I could never do the things he did. He swears it didn’t mean anything, blah blah right. It meant something to me.
I made it clear that if it happens again I will divorce him and I think it scared the hell out of him. I honestly don’t think he considered I would do that. But I am strong enough if it comes to that but I hope it doesn’t.
Do i still love him, of course. Did I forgive him, yes. Did I forget, hell no. Not a day goes by… Do I trust him again, yes and no.
I trust that he is committed to the marriage, that he loves me, that he is committed to our family and our children.
I do not completely trust his actions online, his phone calls, his texts. I worry when he deploys, if it will happen again.
But I choose to take it moment by moment, day by day. I don’t dwell on it and I try to make every day the best for our family.