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"Crisis" seems like such a dire word. The term quarter-life crisis refers to "the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from ages 21-29." At the age of 27 I'm getting closer to the end of that range, but I already feel like I've reached the end of my personal crisis period.
I don't deny that I went through a long period where I exhibited classic quarter-life crisis symptoms: "feeling 'not good enough' because one can't find a job that is at one's academic/intellectual level; frustration with relationships, the working world, and finding a suitable job or career confusion of identity; insecurity regarding the near future; insecurity regarding present accomplishments; disappointment with one's job; and boredom with social interactions," among others. It's difficult to be in your 20s, especially if you're trying to do things on your own (like many singles are), but it can be hard even with the help and support of family and friends.
It happened to me. Even though I had a strong support system, I always felt like I needed to take advantage of other opportunities "just because." I never did anything crazy or dangerous, but I did make certain life decisions that were different than the ones being made by people around me: I spent a semester in Amsterdam during my senior year of college; I drove cross-country from Virginia to California by myself, twice; I moved to California for a year after I graduated from college; I moved to D.C. last fall to start a new job. Even though I only live about 100 miles away from my Richmond support system, I didn't know anybody when I first moved here, and I was living completely on my own and paying all of my bills by myself for the first time.
When you don't know exactly where you want to be, what you want to do, or how you're going to accomplish it, it's an insanely difficult state of mind to be in. For me the feeling was one of restlessness, like the one thing I needed to discover was just around the corner (or across the country). But the thing was, once I got to a new place, even though I wasn't necessarily un-happy, I realized that changing my surroundings didn't change the person I was inside. That time of my life where I was constantly searching for what would make me "happy" was alternately exciting, depressing, frustrating, anticipatory, and mundane, all at the same time. If you'd asked me a year ago if I thought I was in a quarter-life crisis, I would have said yes. But I don't feel that way anymore.
I'm not saying I suddenly had an epiphany, or that I've completely shed all my doubts and worries. But at some point I realized that I have reached a level of acceptance. I feel like I'm in a good place. I like the area where I'm living, the new job I started a few weeks ago is keeping me busy, there are people in my life who care about me, and I'm optimistic about the future. But most importantly, I no longer feel like I have to change my physical surroundings in order to find happiness.
What are your thoughts on the quarter-life crisis?
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Related reading:
Penelope Trunk (aka the Brazen Careerist, seen last week at BlogHer '07), recommends that people in their 20s take advantage of what she calls a braided career.
Karagibs wrote a response to the Brazen Careerist's post.
Brandykins wrote this post shortly before turning 25. She doesn't feel like she's going through a quarter-life crisis, but she does feel a little...weird.
Erin.davis recently finished grad school and feels overwhelmed. What will her next step be?
Contributing editor Zandria also blogs at Keep Up With Me.
