Sustaining Positive Relationships

Sustaining Positive Relationships in the New Year


So it's January.  New resolutions are being made by the moundfull all over the globe.  Turing over a new life, a fresh start, breaking old habits.  All of these ideas become more stimulating, enticing and even attainable as we enter into a new year.  I know for myself, one of my resolutions (I like to make resolutions all year long) I have set for myself this year is to be a better partner to my husband, a better friend to my girlfriends and a better daughter to my parents.

And while this may not seem like a new or unique resolution, and many others may share my sentiment, with life's stressors and the world as it is it may seem scary and hard to make these kinds of changes within ourselves.  I know I have been guilty in the past of blaming the 'others.'  No, not the nafarious group of mysterious people on "Lost," but rather those I am in a 'relationship' with, be it romantic, platonic, familiar, etc. 

So I thought of this analogy the other day. I know its roots came to me from another source many years ago, but I have adapted to my way of thinking ... and perhaps it can help you as well.

The best analogy I have to make more positive relationships is to consider the relationship like a sitting stool.  The stool is sturdy and balanced on three legs; being trust, respect & love (for romantic relationships the love also equals intimacy).  

With one of these legs missing, the stool is sure to become unbalanced, feeling unsecured and likely will tip over (fail).  Reminding oneself that in order to harness the power and comfort of a good positive relationship be it romantic, platonic or in a work environment, we must:

  • Trust ourselves and our own judgement as well as the person we are in a relationship with;
  • Respect ourselves and the other person, even if opinions differ, and lastly we need to have;
  • Love for ourselves as well as a love or deep caring for the well-being of the other.

As simple as these 'legs' may seem, try impletementing them into your current relationships.  I hope for myself and for you that remain commited to trusting, respecting and loving yourself and your 'others,'  towards the most positive and fulfulling relationships that you deserve.    Keep those sitting stools solid!

Happy 2012 ...



Be well,

Jesslyn Shani, C.Ht.


In order to comment on, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Recent Posts by jesslyn_shani