Ah, breakups. The joy of telling someone you aren’t interested in them in a romantic way.

I am honest when doing this. Not brutally honest – if I think your laugh is obnoxious or your penis is too small, I leave that out of the discussion. But, I flat out say that I don’t feel that sort of connection. And I keep it as nice as possible, especially if I truly hope to be friends with this person.

What I don’t understand is why people have to drag it out. You need to have some dignity, and accept it with grace. You do not want to look like you are desperate and pathetic. And that is what happens when you ask someone to reconsider.

So my advice - which I don’t offer up too often - is this:

If you are breaking up with someone, be kind but honest. Understand that it sucks to be told that you aren’t wanted by someone. But do it in a way that leaves little room for bargaining. Be firm.

If you are being broken up with, accept it gracefully. Do not be that person, who believes that you just need to change things. Maybe you do need to change things, but do not make those changes based on the hope of being with someone else. Do it for yourself. Do not berate the other person for their decision, even if it is delivered poorly. Consider it an opportunity – you are no longer wasting time on someone who isn’t the right person, and now you have more time to devote to finding the person you belong with.

If the person says they want to just be friends, understand that this means you are going to need to back off. Your previous approach was for the position of Boyfriend, and in that instance, it is acceptable to be more attentive. But now you are in Friend Zone. Do not think paying even more attention will put you back in the running for Boyfriend. It won’t. It will, however, make us toss you out of Friend Zone entirely, and into the category of Creepy Stalker.