- Share This Post
- Pin It
- 12
-
Sparkle (0)
I am an action-oriented person. I can generally size up a situation quickly, decide my direction and say "go." This is particularly true in business settings but less so in my personal life. I find that making firm decisions quickly can scare other people and if there aren't other people around to be frightened and say "slow down" I sometimes step in and pull my own reins.
And I'm not alone. What's that about? Well, it's about fear - fear of taking a risk, fear of ending procrastination and succeeding or failing, and fear of being overwhelmed by what owning the courage of our convictions might bring.
Those fears are real. Nobody is perfect in their decision making. And it can be difficult for the heart and mind to forget the pain that can come from making what feels like the wrong choice. Even if you practice decision making over and over, building your muscle so you're making smart choices more often than not, the sting, the weight, the ache from even that one time you were disappointed by your choice can linger and pound so hard and so loud that it drowns out all the confidence and joy from the times you found yourself on the right track.
However, refusing to make a decision cannot work. That approach will leave you paralyzed and if there is someone else involved, it can be a cowardly, passive-aggressive method of forcing them into making a decision for you.
That is not to say that some prudence in your decision making process is not warranted. Doing a reasonable (defined by you) amount of research is wise, discovering what inputs you need is smart, and you are allowed to evaluate and weigh those inputs. Sometimes stepping away from the question and the decision that needs to be made will be helpful, allowing you to come back to it refreshed and possibly with a new and improved perspective. This is why we can often get inspired answers in our dreams or while in the shower.
The trick though is not to fall into a trap of over thinking and stuck by analysis paralysis. The idea that you can make a better decision if you just think about it a little bit longer and harder can be seductive. But more often than not the old rule of your first instinct being the right one applies. However, the trap on the other side of that road is to be overly reckless and never put thought into your choices and rely solely on your gut. Many a miserable life has been built on the seeming ease of choices borne of poor impulse control.
So how do you walk that tightrope between reckless abandon and being frozen in fear? I think the best way to get good at and comfortable with decision making is to do it. Make decisions, take action, work at getting better at making choices and then taking action. It's somewhat like with a car - leave it sitting and eventually the battery will die out. In order to move the car forward the gears of the engine must be in motion.
Most choices we have in life are not irreversible. Practice on all those little (and even big) ones that will not seal doors permanently shut behind you. Make a decision, pull the trigger, start moving in the direction of your choice, recognize when you get it right and hold on, as much as possible, to the confidence you feel when that happens. And should you make choice that eventually requires course correction, forgive yourself, learn what you can from your mistake, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and change your mind. You are allowed.
Do you have a hard time making decisions? Are you trying to slow down and make more considered choices? Have you found a tool or method that helps you feel confident in your decision making? If so, please do share in the comments!
Related Reading:
Seth Godin: Make a decision
It doesn't have to be a wise decision or a perfect one. Just make one.
In fact, make several. Make more decisions could be your three word mantra....
Of course it's risky and painful. That's why it's a rare and valuable skill.
Victoria Brouhard: Whatever You Decide Is Okay
I realized the reason I was having such a hard time deciding whether to say yes or no to this opportunity was because I believed there was only one right choice.
If I said yes, but the right answer was no, I’d be
