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It’s important to take a look at your life periodically and ask yourself if your current situation is still working. It doesn’t have to be a formal process, and it doesn’t have to take place at a specified time. All you have to do is take a quick, honest look at the main areas of your life and ask yourself if there’s anything you need to change.
Depending on where you are mentally, or your age, or any number of factors, the results will vary wildly. I’ve been doing this internal question-and-answer session for years, and I know it was an important step in making it through my quarterlife crisis. I would ask myself if I was happy with this or that aspect of my life, and when the answer was “no,” I would go about trying to change it. Because I was perpetually discontent, in the space of a few years I studied abroad in the Netherlands for five months, spent a year in California, and finally ended up outside of Washington, DC.
Even though I’m much more content now than I used to be, doing a periodic check-in helps me stay on track -- and I like to think it helps me identify small issues before they become big problems. Sometimes I know I’m due for a mental check-in just because it’s a certain time of year and there’s a decision to be made. (Like whether or not to renew an apartment lease. That’s always a big one.) Other times it’s when something unexpected comes up, like being offered a promotion. If you say yes, you’re basically making an informal commitment that you’ll stay with this employer for a certain length of time -- when maybe, before the job offer happened, you were thinking of looking elsewhere.
That promotion was an option for me a few months back. I took a weekend to think about it because I needed to make sure it was the right decision. As the people I consulted for their opinions can attest, I didn’t let the fact that I’d be making more money be my sole motivating factor. It’s always been important to me first and foremost that I’m relatively content where I am. I needed to ask myself not only if I was happy with my co-workers and the job I’d be doing, but if I was happy living where I am in general. I could take the promotion and continue working in DC. I could decide to finish out my housing lease and move back to Richmond -- a city I lived in for eight years and where most of my immediate family currently resides. Or I could always go to Korea or Russia and teach English (the option is always there, right?).
The fact is, as a single woman I know I have the option of changing my living situation more readily than someone who’s in a relationship. There’s nobody to consult but myself; as long as I take care of my obligations I can pretty much go wherever I want. I’m not saying I’d remain single just because I want to keep that freedom, but it’s definitely one of the perks. (I did do that in the past, though -- not knowing where I wanted to live or what I wanted to do was the biggest reason I stayed single in my early-to-mid 20s.)
For this particular job decision, I weighed the pros and cons and decided to take the promotion. It’s the right thing for me for right now.
This is the general checklist I use when it’s time for a mental life evaluation:
My physical location...is it working for me? I like living in Old Town Alexandria. It’s pricey, but as a renter I can afford it. There’s a lot of stuff to do around here, and I rarely have to use my car because of the access to public transportation.
My job...is it where I need to be? I don’t think I’ll work as an Executive Assistant for the rest of my life, but it’s okay for right now. I like knowing that the nonprofit organization I work for is making a difference; I have some really fantastic co-workers; the benefits are great (Free health and dental insurance! Three weeks of paid vacation per year! Whooooo!); I can pay my bills and have money left
