Taking Control When Life Is Out of Control

When the world around you starts spinning crazily and control becomes even more impossible than it usually is, the stress can eat you alive. Like right now for many if not most of us. And you don't even need to be a full blown crazy control freak to be freaking out over the lack of control any of us has over the unending stream of bad news and losses we or someone around us inevitably is experiencing.

There are several responses we can have to all of this insanity swirling around us. One is to hide until the storm passes. I know I can find the urge to hibernate like a bear in winter strong. Can't I just hunker down under the covers, watch mindless television and eat comfort food until the economy recovers?

No, ignorance is not bliss? Alright, how about we Zen out and accept that nothing is in our control and just go with the flow even if it is in an unending downward spiral?

No, abdicating all responsibility isn't the answer either? I guess that leaves moderation. How about we adapt the Serenity Prayer to suit us recovering control freaks?

Please, someone grant me the serenity to recognize the things I cannot control, the strength to limit myself to controlling the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

What can't we control? Many things: other people, nature and recalcitrant cats, among them. And that means pretty much everything but ourselves. And there is plenty enough going on with ourselves so no need to make yourself extra stressed by trying to control the uncontrollable.

Taking even a bit of control in our lives can help us stay sane in crazy times. I'm not suggesting that if you lose your job you should embark on a program of epic self control and decide to quit smoking, cut out sugar, salt and fat from your diet and plan a two-hour-a-day workout routine all starting tomorrow. I am suggesting that you look for small things you can control about your responses and your actions. You can commit to reaching out to five people a day in your search for a new job. You can write out your expenses and figure out what you can reduce or eliminate. You can choose to respond positively and proactively rather than wasting time blaming whoever let you go from your job and being angry at God, life, the government, capitalists and anyone who still has a job.

My small act of control in an out of control world is to walk on a schedule. I ran across a program I had saved from a magazine that gives you a daily walking plan to build up to a half-marathon. I am not enrolled in any specific event but each day I walk at the rate and for the time my little plan tells me. I feel in control because I am choosing to take this positive action every day. It doesn't matter what is going on in the world, if my phone is ringing or if anyone is behaving as I would like them to. I cannot control any of that but I can control me and what actions I take.

As I said, it is a small thing. But it has been very calming and keeps my inner control freak satisfied and at bay. And that is, as Martha Stewart might say, a very good thing.

Do you find your inner control freak freaking out at life out of control? How do you calm her down? Are there any small things you've taken control over lately? I'm always looking for great ideas!

Related Reading:

Colleen Wainwright at Connumicatrix: Control What You Can

At a seminar I gave to my beloved actors this past weekend, it finally struck me where my new-found, relative peace of mind comes from, the idea I've been pushing wherever I can and the underlying concept behind all of the work I do and the things I share: spend your time on the things under your control, and do your best to let go of the rest.

Almost As Good As Chocolate: What you can control

It’s easy to get into funks about the state of our lives. Our lives have many components and there’s usually at least one of those pieces that’s off-kilter. And with the global economy the way it is, let’s brace ourselves - things will get worse on some dimensions for sure.

The only way to get through it is to focus on what you can control and ride the rest of it the best you can.

Jennifer at Ravings of a Feral Genius: Control Freak

The first rat had a bar in his cage, and could press it to turn off the current. The second rat suffered no worse shock than the first, but had no control over the situation. And after a very short time, the experiment found the first rat in excellent health, while the second rat got skinny and sickly. The two rats felt identical levels of pain, but the pain itself didn’t cause any problems; lack of control over the pain did.

In today’s economy most people these days have zero control over the parts that affect them. Even a stellar employee who does excellent work can lose his job – not because he’s fired, but because the job no longer exists. And there’s no bar in our cages we can press to make the shocks stop coming.

Sagan at Living Healthy in the Real World: Analyzing Stress and Control Issues

And that, I believe, is what led me to analyze my emotions. Because only through understanding them was I able to regain control over them. To regain control over the only thing that I really could have control over at that point.

BlogHer CE Maria Niles is in control, now that she's all grow up, at her personal blog PopConsumer