Taking my Foot Off the Brake
The Joy of Mothering
Grace changes me, usually in spite of myself.
Although I said yes to God when I was 16 and heroically tried to surrender all of myself to Him, it was impossible because I was not free or healed enough to let go of my masks and fears. So I earnestly performed all the right spiritual exercises and disciplines. My spiritual practices were counter productive because I was proudly doing everything under my power.
I call it The Tea and Me Trap. The tea was the caffeine fuel I needed to keep me running somewhat efficiently. I was a dedicated Christian who had a relationship to Jesus and was filled with His Spirit but still not allowing His Spirit free reign in my daily routine.
- encountering God out of the blue and accepting Him,
- becoming Catholic
- marrying...we had seen each other in person 11 days before we were engaged.
- moving across the country,
- deciding to have a large family,
- moving to a farm, to raise healthy food and keep our kids of the street.