Taking the next step..

Why is it that when you finally find love, like actual real love, that everything goes wrong? I have always felt like I know what I'm doing with my life, I make mistakes but I'm strong and I like my independence but now I'm in love I question my every decision. What makes us women change for the men we love? I know some women will be reading this and thinking that women who change for men are naive but if you look at your relationship, I mean REALLY look at it then I'm sure you too will find something you have changed. For example when I met my fiancé I was always out with my friends, taking a drink and not really caring about what people thought of me but now we are this far on in our relationship I feel like if I go out all the time and drink too much alcohol I'm embarrassing myself and if I walk down the street in something too revealing I'm making myself seem available when I'm clearly not. So what does make us change? Some of us don't want to end up old and single and some of us just feel like it's the right thing to do when you pass that certain stage of intimacy and feeling in our relationship. I feel like I have changed for the better, I am stronger and I feel like I am finally the responsible adult I should be but I know I am still not doing everything that I should be 'expected' to do. For me now I face the final crossroads every women gets to before marriage, and in this moment I am confused with what I should do. Sure I love him, but is love enough? Sometimes I wonder if us women just settle for this whole idea of a 'fairy tale', but are we really looking at the bigger picture? This man will be your husband, the father to your children and yet you put to one side all the bad qualities he has just because you hope he will change, well guess what ladies - HE WON'T. It will still be the same dirty towels on your bathroom floor he refuses to pick up or the constant "I'll be home late from work I'm going to take a drink with the guys" or my personal favourite the "I'm always right" bit that he performs every time you have an argument. Maybe we should step back from our relationships and think "do I deserve better?".

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