The Tale of the Four Year Old & Vagina Cream

Originally from Danielle Elwood Dot Com

Ready for a good laugh at one of the finer things in motherhood?  Good, because as embarrassing as it is – last night in my house was downright hysterical.

When you are a woman there are certain things you keep under your bathroom sink, or in your bathroom cabinet. Vagina cream typically is one of them. I always have monistat, tampons, pads, you know… all that shit no one ever wants to talk about in public. Because lets face it… sometimes we need it.

Well, I just so haven’t had to use this specific product in over four years – since before I had children. My on hand cream had expired and I had to venture out for an issue.

Well silly me, when I was done I left it on the sink in the bathroom. No harm – or at least I thought.

Lately my four-going-on-fifteen-year-old has been big on privacy in the bathroom. I am not sure if it is because they stress it at school, or because he is just at that age but he isn’t down for anyone being present while he is pooping. Totally understandable. I don’t want an audience either!

(Although I think I found the root of the privacy issue now – he just wants to get into shit while taking a shit!)

Yesterday afternoon when I hit up the potty myself I noticed something white on the toilet seat, I assumed it was toothpaste because one of his favorite things to do is brush his teeth while pooping. I am not going to discourage it at all, he loves brushing his teeth and that is fine by me!

Well I wasn’t about to lick the toilet seat to see what exactly it was… so I just took a wash cloth and wiped it off. No harm, no foul.

When I headed to bed last night I made my final stop in the bathroom for my ungodly cream and that is when everything clicked. It was the cream on the toilet seat. He had opened the box and played with it while pooping.

At that point I almost fell out laughing. I am not sure what was funnier… the fact that he had been playing with vagina cream or just the fact that this is motherhood at its finest!

I do know this is something I will use to embarrass him when he is a teenager, you can bet your bottom dollar on that one!


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