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I recently read BlogHer Contributing Editor Laina Dawe’s post in reaction to Barack Obama’s speech about his white grandmother. I started thinking about how much our families influence our own views about race, whether we agree or disagree. Once you hear someone make a hateful remark about another person based on the color of their skin or the shape of their eyes, it’s hard to forget your reaction. It’s hard to respect the speaker or it’s hard to respect the recipient of the remark, depending on whether or not you agree with your family member. Neither outcome is good.
A study in the British Journal of Developmental Psychology found that white mothers have more influence than fathers over their children’s preference when choosing friends of a certain race. While blogger Melissa Lafsky takes issue with the “mothers over fathers” point, saying mothers tend to still bear the burden of childcare and therefore of course would have more influence, period, over their children, she also drives home an important point:
The finding that children have a powerful ability to pick up on their parents’ racism is unsurprising, given that children learn the majority of their lessons on social interaction from watching their parents.
In other words, racism, or the lack thereof, starts with us. The parents. I’m going to get up on my soap-box now. stomp, stomp
I’m sick of wars. I’m sick of genocide. I’m sick of a bunch of different groups saying one is better than another. I’m tired of religious arguments and one group saying the other group is going to hell for not agreeing with their way to worship. I’m tired of litigation. The human race is way too fired up all the time. To use a tired phrase: Why can’t we all just get along?
Maybe because each generation keeps passing its viewpoint along to the children of the following one. It has got to stop, and everything our generation of parents can do to put an end to hate and discrimination will indeed make our world a better place for our grandchildren. Dramatic, perhaps, but true. How many chances to you really get in this life to make a difference? This is one of them. What you teach your child about respect for all people is your chance to improve society. If every parent did this, would we still have racism?
Apparently not. Here are some findings about today’s more tolerant kids.
He and his friends are among an estimated 46.3 million Americans ages 14 to 24 — the older segment of the most diverse generation in American society. (Most demographers say this "Millennial" generation began in the early 1980s, after Generation X.) These young people have friends of different races and also may date someone of another race.
This age group is more tolerant and open-minded than previous generations, according to an analysis of studies released last year by the Center for Information and Research on Civic Learning and Engagement, part of the University of Maryland's School of Public Policy. The center focuses on ages 15 to 25.
Another study by Teenage Research Unlimited in Northbrook, Ill., found six of 10 teens say their friends include members of diverse racial backgrounds.
Lisa Smith from Crazy Hip Blog Mamas has a list of guidelines for discussing race with kids in her post, in which I found:
Despite being a challenging conversation, it is an accomplishment as a parent just to start a dialogue about such an important and controversial topic. The more we know about how to talk to our children about the differences in our world, the better we can equip them to become open-minded, unbiased adults. We as parents can give our children the tools to make their world a more loving, accepting place just by providing them a comfortable place to voice their questions and concerns, and an ear to listen to what they have to say.
What do you think?
