Is that a tampon in your purse, or are you just happy to see me?

I've been thinking a lot about public school, lately. I happen to be a proponent of public schools; I have this crazy idea that since my tax dollars are funding it, I should be able to feel good about educating my children there. And while I know that there are problems in most public schools, I generally stand by my decision to get involved, pay attention, and then let my kids go.

My decision has been a little shaken here and there, over the years. Certainly there are things that happen that make me wonder if public school is really the way to go, and I try to work through those issues as they crop up. Why, just yesterday my children's bus disappeared for about an hour. (That's a different story for a different time.) But what's happening at Tri-County High School in Sullivan County puts any of my recent concerns into perspective.

Allow me to summarize: The school has banned bags in the hallways "for security reasons," and so a 14-year-old girl carrying a purse was told by a security officer that she was not allowed to have that purse unless she was menstruating. And then he asked her if she was having her period. Naturally. After it became clear that multiple females were being quizzed on their cycles (you know, because of the bag thing, which was totally about safety), students started wearing tampons and sanitary napkins on their bodies in various ways in protest.

I really didn't even know where to begin with this, but fortunately Rachel over at Women's Health News did:

Holy inappropriate question, Batman. I suppose that menstruating teens are somehow cosmically prevented from carrying weapons (or menstruation is so shameful and embarrassing as to trump security concerns), periods are totally predictable at a young age and so bag-carrying can be well-planned, and it’s totally appropriate for a male security guard to grill a young girl about what may or may not be coming out of her vagina. Or, you know, not.

.
If you blink, the issue of school safety somehow becomes entangled in... what, exactly? The school's right to ask prying health questions? The school's need to know when its students are in need of feminine sanitary supplies? I don't know about you, but when I decided to have my children attend a public school, it never even crossed my mind to wonder if my daughter will be grilled on her menstrual cycle. Silly me!

St. Emma of the Chemicals says she's glad she's not in high school anymore:

The student response has been refreshing: girls are now carrying purses made out of tampon boxes, and boys are sticking maxipads to their shirts. After hearing rumours that one of the protesters was suspended from school, one student went to speak to the principal, who confiscated her protest jewelry and told her that she was "part of the problem."

Which begs the question: what is the problem? Girls who dare to menstruate during school hours? Girls who object to telling some skeevy rent-a-cop whether or not they're on the rag? Students who are both saner and more sensible than the adults who have been entrusted with their care? Adults who make stupid rules without stopping to consider what happens when those rules are carried to their logical conclusion, and then get upset at the negative consequences of those rules being carried to their logical conclusion?

One can only hope that the media attention being paid to this debacle will force the resignation of the principal and the security guard in question, and that neither of them are placed in a position of authority over teenage girls ever again.

Over at Bitchin' from the Kitchen, the disgust is palpable:

Of course, regardless of whether the question is embarrassing the women at this high school, it is sexual discrimination. It’s not as if they’re asking boys, “Are you wearing jeans with large pockets because you’re expecting to have a seminal discharge today?” That and the boys aren’t permitted to carry purses, of course. And finally, how the hell does a woman saying she’s got her period verify in any way that she is not carrying a handgun in her Louis Vuitton? Real smart, Sullivan County.

Now, I know it would be easy to classify this debacle as a "feminist issue," (yes, there's good commentary over at feministing, too), and while it absolutely is a feminist issue, it's also a mommy/family issue because this is happening to our children in a public school. And do you want to know what disturbs me most of all about this story?

Although I was able to find ample news coverage, and a fair amount of blog chatter, I was unable to find anything indicating that parents are taking action here. Sure, there's a couple of quotes from the parents of the girl named in the original story. But where is the outrage from parents standing up and saying that they refuse to have their children treated this way in school? Are the parents in agreement with the no-backpacks policy? (And if so, is it because there have been violence issues at this particular school or are they just fearful of possible violence?) Do the parents think the kids are overreacting?

I don't know the answers to these questions. What I do know is that I'm a parent and if this happened where my children go to school, I would be on my feet. This shouldn't happen to women anywhere, but it especially shouldn't be happening to minors in schools funded with tax money. I hope that the parents of the kids at Tri-County are not just standing up with their children, but fighting on their behalf. And I'm not talking about wearing tampon jewelry -- I'm talking about sending a message, loud and clear, that this treatment of our children will not be tolerated.

Menstruation is natural. Having school officials quiz our daughters about it is not.

Contributing Editor Mir also blogs about issues parental and otherwise at Woulda Coulda Shoulda and Cornered Office, as well as sharing the joys of mindful retail therapy at Want Not.

Comments

You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with Connect

I sent email

September 29, 2007 - 10:31pm

I sent email to the principal today. Here is the text:

Mr. Worden:

A few minutes ago, I became acquainted with your "no bags" policy through this news article: http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070928/NEWS/709...

By now you are surely aware that this article, which names you specifically, is being discussed on the internet.

I have now read your district's code of student conduct and dress codes as posted on the district website, and could not help but notice that the "no bag" policy is not contained therein. In fact, there is a specific reference to search of book bags. While I recognize the fact that circumstances change and therefore sometimes rules must change too, I think many people will find it unreasonable to be held to a policy apparently implemented at the beginning of the school year that is not specifically in that document, and in fact is contradicted by it. No wonder "kids have been confused since school started about the bag rules"! Furthermore, I am forced to wonder how students get their books, homework, and other supplies from class to class; surely it is not efficient or feasible for students to visit their lockers between each and every class.

I furthermore find the "only menstruating girls" clause utterly demeaning. Menstruation is an unpleasant enough thing without having to draw attention to it. Young women have enough self-esteem issues in this modern world without a "red badge" purse. Would your wife want to wear a shirt proclaiming for all to see "I am on my period"? No? Well your students don't care for that either.

I urge you to find another way to meet the goals of the "no bags" policy. I furthermore urge you to personally apologize to Samantha Martin, Hannah Lindquist, and every other young woman you have demeaned and insulted with this policy.
--

And here is his reply:

You are reacting to false information. Also, the no bookbad/back pack policy is clearly stated in the parent/student handbooks and was also clearly stated in several information documents including a letter dated February 1st and a follow up letter in August 2007.
Rob Worden

Please notice that he did not at all address the merits or stupidity of the policy. Nor did he seem to have any clue that he'd demeaned these young ladies.

 

Why aren't parents involved?

September 30, 2007 - 5:01am

I am the father of the second little girl (the one who is "part of the problem"), and I can tell you that my first reaction to all of this was, indeed, "where are the rest of the parents?" First reactions are not always accurate, however.

While there are certainly some parents who do not see this as a serious issue, or who deny that anything disturbing actually happened, most people in our small community are outraged and disgusted by the questioning. Most of us find the original policy either silly or pointless, and nearly all of us are astounded at the lack of response by the school administration, including the principal who seems also to have been involved in the questioning of the girls. (That's why his response to you claims that it's "false information" that the question was even asked!)

The day after this happened, the school board meeting was packed with concerned and vocal parents. There's another meeting this Thursday, and I'm sure it will also have a large and concerned group of parents and students in attendance.

We are a very small town, though. All of the media attention we've had (ALL of the major networks have been to town) is not something we are used to. Many parents are distrustful of the media from NYC, and do not want their children to be used as fodder for sensationalist stories. I can't say that I blame them.

So the parents are, indeed, fighting for their children. In this struggle, we are also greatly heartened by the concern and support of people like you who help us to publicize the seriousness of the issue.

 

thank you!

September 30, 2007 - 6:12am

Mr. Lindquist, thank you very much for your comments! I'm thrilled that you happened to find this piece and took the time to share your thoughts. It can be very difficult to tease apart what's "really" happening from the media coverage, vs. parents who are actually there in the fray.

Best of luck to you and all of the parents and students involved. I hope you'll update us... like perhaps after the Thursday meeting, or (dare I say it?) when your principal steps down.

--
Mir from WCS
(BlogHer Mommy & Family contributing editor)

Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda

Having it all with less: Want Not

 

Egads

September 30, 2007 - 1:13pm

Because of how I was raised, this whole issue, had it been an issue when I was in high school, would have caused me to STAY HOME during my period. Add in the fact that I had (and have) a highly irregular cycle, and I either would have never been at school or would have carried a purse for an average of three weeks per month. Every month. I'm sure a rent-a-cop would have noticed, after the second week of purse carrying, that something was amiss and interviewed me about my irregular cycles, only causing me to feel worse about the fact that my body, which as "bad" anyway, didn't make sense to random people. And ya know, further demoralizing my then-view of my body.

I applaud those teens able to stand up and do/say something about it. I'm glad to see some teens being raised with more body awareness than I was!

Family Living; Hatfield Style
Birth/First Parent Blog
The Chronicles of Munchkin Land.

 

HIPAA

September 30, 2007 - 1:16pm

PS - As menstruating is actually a health related issue, could questioning someone on it be a HIPAA violation? Just wondering. HIPAA confuses the bejeebus out of me. I'm honest. LOL.

 

The School Board met tonight

October 4, 2007 - 8:18pm

An update on the original incident. I attended the school board meeting this evening, and the board suspended (with pay) the security guard. They have hired a lawyer to investigate what their final actions will be, and will report to the community at some time in the future.

It's all incredibly frustrating. Their action does, at least, admit that the question ought never to have been asked. The issue of where this security guard got the idea to ask this question, though, hasn't yet been addressed. It's been two weeks, and we've had (as parents) no communication from the superintendent or the board about what they are doing on this issue.

So I guess this is why people run for school boards, eh?

http://www.recordonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071004/NEWS/710...

 

Another update--in case anyone is sitll following this issue

October 18, 2007 - 7:37pm

The school board fired the security guard tonight, but the principal will remain on staff; they determined that no staff person was involved but the guard.

No one really believes the board has completely and fairly investigated the issue, and the board does not plan on making its findings public. So, as with most issues like this, the outcome isn't really final. My daughter has learned a lot about the value of standing up for her rights, and about how the adult world works. And I've learned that I need to be much, much more involved in the public education system. There go my Thursday nights--

 
BlogHer ConnectionsBlogHer Connections

ConferencesConferences

Upcoming Events

BlogHer Food '10

October 8-9, 2010

San Francisco, CA


BlogHer '11
August 5-6, 2011
San Diego, CA
Register Now!

Sponsor Promotions

$100 Question$100 Question

What is the biggest blessing motherhood brings you? Tell us in the comments for a chance to win $100.

Don't Miss ...Don't Miss ...

Back to School
Must Read Moms