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Sparkle (1)
"Mom! Um, my brother just said a bad word. He was trying to tell me a joke, then he said the 'F' word," is what my daughter came hauling into the living room to tell us yesterday. Hubby immediately called my son into the room, and his interrogation began. My son, of course, said that his sister was lying, and that she just wanted him to get into trouble. Thus the problem any parent eventually faces- catching the real liar.
My husband's method is simple. Stand his ground, ask the same question over and over again, and eventually pull out the 'If you tell the truth, I promise, you won't get in trouble.' Wait, deja-vu...
I was 16. I had my own car, and a job at the local grocery store to pay for said car. And, I was a smoker. (Gasp, I know.) I used to hide my cigarettes from my parents in between the seats in my car, but for some reason one day, after picking up a friend of mine for school, and driving around having our final nicotine fit before the grueling 7 hours of school, I decided to put the pack in the glove compartment. Apparently, that same day, my new insurance card came in the mail, and my dad, being a good samaritan, decided to drive up to the school, and just put the new insurance card in my glove compartment for me while I was in class, because I had to leave school that day and head straight to work. Yeah, you know where this is going....
I get out of school, go fumbling for my cigarettes, and find the new insurance card sitting directly on top of the pack. Immediately my friend and I panic. She steps up to the plate, and says, 'Tell your dad they're mine. He knows you pick me up for school in the morning and take me home in the afternoon, just tell him they are mine.' Problem solved, I'm going to lie. So, sure enough, my dad calls (maybe he just showed up at work- the memory is a little fuzzy) during my break, and immediately wants to know about the cigarettes. So, out comes the pre-planned lie. Dad sits there for a second, then says those famous words, 'Morgan, I don't want you to lie to me. If you tell me the truth, you won't get in trouble.' Here's my moment to be a 'good kid', to redeem myself, to stand up for what I did wrong, and to not get in trouble with it. 'Ok, dad, they're mine.' Without hesitation, I hear, 'You're grounded for a week.'
WAIT A SECOND!! You said I wouldn't get in trouble if I told the truth!!! My dad's reply to that? 'It was going to be a month, but since you told the truth, I cut it down to a week.' HOLD ON! You were believing the story that they were my friend's, so had I never told the truth, there would have been no month to get grounded. Blasted all.....
Yes, that moment taught me a very good lesson that I carried through with me the rest of my teenage years- make the lie believable, and stick to it at all costs.
Back to the present. Apparently it's a father thing, because my hubby used the same technique on my son. After what seemed to be days (with Z and I having to hide under blankets because we were laughing so hard), my son finally confessed to the joke gone wrong, apologized to his sister for lying on her, and yes, did not get in trouble, as his dad had promised, because he had told the truth.
All this did was remind me of my method of making a child liar talk.
About a year ago, my mom, my kids and I went grocery shopping. My daughter, 7 at the time, wanted a Snickers bar at the checkout. No Snickers bar, honey, not today. We leave the grocery store, get home, my daughter's jacket mysteriously tied around her waist even though it's 40 degrees outside, and she heads straight to her room, saying she's going to go read. My mom, sensing something is up, sneaks back to my daughter's room, peers through the cracked door to find my daughter eating a Snickers bar. Mom comes running into the kitchen, asking me if I bought my daughter the candy, and upon my answer of no, tells me what's going on. Oh, it's on...
I sit my daughter directly
