This post has been simmering just beneath the surface for me over the last 2 weeks. Well over the last 10 years really. There was a post on a forum I follow asking will you ever forget your infertility when becoming a parent through adoption?....more
I hear it all the time "Oh you're an adoptive mom", um no. I'm a mom. Short, simple and to the point. I don't say to you, "Oh, you squirted one out your vajayjay, you're a biological mom". Yes, I missed his birth, yes I missed his first birthday but really those in the long run don't matter. I have been through the 5 childhood fevers and rashes, his ear infections, his surgeries, his skinned knees, his first steps, the shooting cheerios out his nose, his first day of school....more
"I DON'T WANT YOU!" my three and a half year-old daughter roars, fists clenched at her sides, body rigid, tears and snot coating her face."I DON'T WANT YOU!" she roars again mid-meltdown then jumps up and down screaming at the top of her lungs.I hardly recognize this enraged little person. 95% of the time my kid is joyful, happy, hilarious, and extremely kind.But that other 5% of the time.Meltdowns.Spectacular, epic, blow-the-roof-off meltdowns.Filled with rage....more
For the past 24 hours or so, the English-speaking world has been ablaze with the mystery of the blue/black/white/gold dress. What colour is it really? Is the whole thing a click-bait scam? Who sees what? It’s been one of those Internet phenomena that verify what a small planet this is, how close we all are and yet how different. And how many of us are willing to be completely and utterly diverted by trivia. It came during a week in which perspective and disparity in how we see the world has weighed heavily on me....more
We looked through old papers tonight, pages of them, some in English, most in Spanish, documents pulled out of a torn white envelope, each one signifying some step in the adoption of one of our three children from Nicaragua.
In the papers were names we had forgotten, names of people and places.
Over the past few years, the following things have been offered to us as possible "causes" for the behavioral problems we have experienced with our seven-year-old son, Harper. Most of the time the suggestions have been made in love, purely out of concern. Occasionally they have been "casually" dropped into a conversation in correction or judgement. Some are shoved down our throats via Facebook articles and blogs.