The Antidote To Shame

I remember the elbow squeeze very well.When I was a young girl, it was always delivered during a time that was considered particularly important: at a wedding or some other kind of grown-up thing, at a rich family member’s house, an important social event. It was as harmless as a sideways glance or a raised finger telling a child not to touch a hot stove, but still, it was a tacit reminder to be on my best behavior....more

A Prayer for Q

Q entered our lives & our hearts about a year ago. He'd just turned 4, and was funny, animated & undeniably adorable. With dark features and big brown eyes he could have been ours.  He fit into our home & hearts like he was ours....more

Adoption: How it Feels When You're Not Chosen

Today has been marked on my calendar for weeks. A simple star in the corner, nothing you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it, but something I’ve stared at for days, something that represents a lot of nervous stomachs and sleepless nights and days spent dreaming of the future. Today was the day we found out if we were selected to adopt a little boy we’d been matched with. And today, just hours ago, we found out that another family was chosen instead. ...more

Foster Care & Reclaiming Motherhood

I knew I'd foster at some point about 10 years before we took the plunge....more

No Rainbows. No Butterflies. Reality of a Failed Adoption.

We were very busy in the month of May and June preparing for a little bundle of joy. A baby girl that we spent six months waiting for. A successful quick placement with a birthmother who picked us to be parents of her unborn child. A girl. I wanted a girl so badly, our whole family has boys. This was meant to be....more
Several people have written with compassion for all involved, while also trying to be sensitive ...more

Attachment

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Loving Claire

Where to begin?!?         Let's start with the blog. I love to write but that's not why I wanted to blog. I was grasping for an escape, an outlet, a place to forget the fear and anxiety I was battling.           When I showed up with a new almost one year in tow at soccer practice I recited what our adoption agency told me to say. "This is Libby. We don't know how long she will be with us. Our focus right now is reunification with her parents."...more

How My Kids View Their Mama

     I tend not to jump on the Mommy bandwagon for things.... but for every thing there is a season. And it's my turn to jump. There is a Facebook post that's gone viral that has you ask your child/children questions about you as their Mom while you record their answers. Naturally, these answers are chocked full of adorableness and grossly inaccurate information. So it only made sense that I interviewed my own children (the ones that can talk, that is), because they are both adorable and grossly inaccurate on most days as it is....more

Surprising Things I Learned in Foster Care Orientation

Now that my husband has started his career, it is time for us to start on our next journey. My husband and I have wanted kids for a LONG time. I have battled with my infertility ever since we tied the knot. In the last three years I have really accepted the fact of not being able to give birth to my own biological babies, so we have been preparing our heart for foster care. ...more
I work for child welfare here and NYC and kudos to you and your husband for making such an ...more

Little Green

"There'll be icicles and birthday clothesAnd sometimes there'll be sorrow"Joni Mitchell, Little Green...more