Last week, I received a bit of a nasty-gram for the blog, calling me childish, selfish, narcissistic, and a cringe-worthy writer. Yes – ouch, buuuurn, and all that. I thought the issue of Childfree people (or those considering a Childfree life) being called selfish had been covered ad nauseum, but it appears I’ve been proven wrong. So let’s dig in.Is it selfish to not want kids?...more
I think I drove a nice, but naive, woman a little crazy yesterday. I hope I also gave her something to think about. Here's what happened. She and her kid sat beside me on a train to Long Island. I made the mistake of saying her kid was cute. The kid was cute --that wasn't the mistake-- but my comment opened the door to a much too long conversation that eventually led itself to me telling this woman I had no husband and no kids…and that I was ok with that. Then this happened: ...more
Most new parents, when trying to capture this emotion, spout off some variation of It’s the most indescribable feeling… which is somewhat problematic for me in that they can’t seem to describe it. It evidently just has to be experienced. Or they say something like, Man, when they put that baby in your arms… and then they just shake their heads. Also not tremendously helpful. I hate the idea that there’s this wildly powerful emotion running around out there in the world that I might never catch. But is the curiosity over this feeling enough to justify the lifelong commitment, expense, blah, blah, blah, of a child? ...more
The book launch party for The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree was held last Thursday in New York City. It was wonderful in every way: beautiful venue, good food and drink, and a really good vibe with 75 of my favorite people. I was very happy. It was held at Blondie's Treehouse, a floral design shop. I wanted a location that was different from your typical restaurant party room, and Sara Baerwald was kind enough to let me use her space. What a nice lady. ...more
When I was young, I just assumed that I would grow up, meet someone special, fall in love, get married, and have children - in that order. Truthfully, though, I never actually gave much thought as to my desire or ability to carry out any of these roles - my expectations were based solely on the premise that that's what people do.
There's a good deal of talk about how the childfree often lose friends when kids come on the scene, or at least about how the friendships change. Here's a woman who asks the friendship question from the perspective of the parent-to-be<...more
I think it's important --from time to time-- to do something outside your normal routine, out-of-the-ordinary, something a little adventurous. Here's a story about one of my favorite adventures and a lesson I learned from it. Excerpted from The Spinsterlicious Life: 20 Life Lessons for Living Happily Single and Childfree. Copyright 2011. All rights reserved. Lesson 2: Indulge yourself! Romance. Sex. Adventure....more
Why don't I have kids? Because I never really wanted 'em. They're not for everybody, something I tried to explain to a woman I met recently. She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language that she didn't understand. And I guess I kind of was, because she has four kids and couldn't seem to shut up about them. And, actually, she was more than just "a woman", she was a client so I felt it important that I be clear but oh so polite. I would like her to hire me again…even though she probably thinks of me as 'that strange woman with no kids'....more