Family Planning Choices

I've read a few articles lately about the horrible things people say to women who don't have children. This is close to home and I am feeling pretty riled up about it. Like all things that rile me up, I opted to write a strongly worded, acidic response. And then I sat on it for four days. I've toned down the acid, and I opted to keep the strong words....more

An Accidentally (Or Not?) Childfree Bucket List

Drew and I went to San Francisco last weekend to visit our friends Ben and Caroline, and I was struck by a pretty powerful observation on the way up. We’d decided to drive, because we’re crazy and don’t mind an insanely long road trip, and it gives us time to have nice long chats. And probably half of all those chats are prompted by one of us saying,“Wouldn’t it be cool if someday we…”This trip was no exception. By the time we hit the Bay Bridge, we determined that it would be pretty awesome if we could:...more

5 Things NOT to Say to the Childfree

I was recently interviewed for an article in womansday on what not to say to the childfree. Writer Charlotte Lavala asked me about "cringe-worthy" things women can say to their childfree woman friends. I gave her a boatload of ideas, and a couple landed in the article. Here is more of what I told her:1. Asking, "Is/Are your ______ ok with you not wanting kids?" Fill in "husband" or "parents" or "grandparents"....more
Implying that the child-free don't have kids because they're selfish. Ask a parent why they ...more

Mister Maybe's Thoughts on Babies

It takes two to make a baby (who knew?), and two to make a baby decision. Now that I’ve been spouting off for a while, I thought you guys might like to hear what Drew thinks about all this. Here it is, in his own words:We’ve decided to decide together...more

General

O so Sad.  I am just going to have to take this link off of my FB page, that's all there is to it.  I can't write unabashed otherwise.  It sucks, because I had such a great tag line.  Oh well-I guess I'm not going fishing.  I did make some amazing coffee tho...as it turns out, after hours of scouring my FB page, turns out I'm not the only Reno refugee here.  Question now is, would it not, perhaps, be better to just refrain from the Drama?  Well I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt...sometimes.  Like when I'm feeling arrogant enough to t...more

The "Breeder" Shoe on the Other Foot

Check out this post on The Childfree Life. What poster "selfishwoman" experienced exemplifies what can happen when people make assumptions, and why some childfree can get criticized for "breeder" talk.......more

Childfree-by-Choice Mother’s Day Haters: Pipe Down a Sec

Well, the big day has come and gone. Believe it or not, the cats got me NOTHING. And that’s okay, because for me, Mother’s Day has always been about my mom.  Until this year, I’ve never even considered it in terms of what it means to me as a forever-non-mother or a potential-future-mother. But now that this day has ruffled so many feathers in the Childfree community, I feel the need to add my two cents.But what about ME?!...more

Mother's Day on Steroids: A Contrarian View

Over the past couple of years it’s been clear to me that holidays have become of monumental importance in the American culture. Christmas—December 25—is an entire season. When I was a kid, talk of Christmas began a week or two before the big day. A few years ago, stores began to trot out Christmas decorations on November 1, as soon as the Halloween pumpkins were put away. Last year, though, I noticed a number of stores selling Christmas wreaths right alongside Halloween masks. The Christmas season now begins in October.  ...more

Yes, I am a mom: How owning Boston Terriers can be like having children.

Yesterday the young man at the cash register wished me a Happy Mother's Day.  I blame the gray streaks in my younger than it looks hair.  I'm 28, and currently my husband and I are childless.  For the moment.  If you don't include my two furbabies....more

Judging Childless Women

When you meet a childless woman, what do you think? Do you automatically assume she is less happy or more selfish or missing something? Or do you secretly wish you could have her life?...more