When Mother's Day... Isn't

I knew something was wrong when I pulled up in front of our house The street was lined with cars double-parked... An ambulance sat still and silent in the middle of the street... Neighbors stood and gathered... I pulled into the driveway and got out of the car My neighbor walked quietly over to me and I knew I could see it in his eyes"My wife is terminal, so we brought her home to die" Those words felt like a punch in the stomach...more

My Substitute Moms...

Every year as Mother's Day approaches, I feel a sadness creep in.  I miss my Mom.  My first Mother's Day without her was the first Mother's Day I was a mom;  albeit, my bundle of joy was nestled comfortably within my womb, I was a mother nonetheless.  I remember that first year, being a jumble of hormones and emotions, breaking down in sobs during church as the message was all about moms and how lucky we were to have them and should honor them on that day.  The ache in my heart was so intense....more

The Dandelion Seed Waits With Hope

The billowy fluffs float on the breath of my little girl’s secret wishes. I watch her spread the dandelion seeds and smile. Who decided these were weeds anyway? I love dandelions. They are vibrant and stand alone until it’s time to change into impossibly soft wisps.  Then they wait until the wind slowly carries them away – to land where they may. No plans. No set path. The dandelion seed waits with hope....more

Daydreaming of Him

 Daydreaming of my late husband and musings on my marital rings....more
Hello there, Mrs TDJ! So happy to find you tonight, my fellow Marylander. I found you on the ...more

Mother's Day: Somewhere in Between Us

Mother's Day is a bittersweet time for me and a difficult day for my grandmother.  We mourn the woman who connects us, the mother who made me want to be a mother, the daughter who made her a mother....more

Ups And Downs

To say that the last almost six weeks have been a challenge would be a fairly significant understatement. To be truthful, this week and even TODAY have been a challenge. But there has been change, which surely can be called progress. Right?I stood in the closet the other day with my nose buried in my husband's shirts, trying to see if I could smell his scent. You know, the scent you can pick out that is the essence of your husband, the one you can identify blindfolded in a room of hundreds of people. It wasn't there. It's nowhere, anymore, except in my memory. And I cried....more

Sometimes I Cry, My Mother's Day Reality

Mother's Day will have new meaning for me and my sister for the rest of our lives.Taken way too soon by breast cancer, my mom was an amazing strong wise woman.Read more......more

On grief: Mother's Day without a Mom

The way I see it, I have two ways to approach Mother's Day 2014:1.) I can ignore the world, including my email inbox, TV commercials, facebook, instagram and pretty much everything social-media related this week. Self preservation.-or- 2.) I can take a deep breath and be thankful for the 34 years I got with Shirl.::...more

Fade to Black: Death After Dementia

  It seems very wrong to write a eulogy for someone who is still alive. That's what I've been doing today. But instead of putting my scattered ideas onto paper, I'm writing this. It's one thing to eulogize in your head and another thing entirely to commit those thoughts to sentences and paragraphs....more