Sometimes I Cry, My Mother's Day Reality

Mother's Day will have new meaning for me and my sister for the rest of our lives.Taken way too soon by breast cancer, my mom was an amazing strong wise woman.Read more......more

On grief: Mother's Day without a Mom

The way I see it, I have two ways to approach Mother's Day 2014:1.) I can ignore the world, including my email inbox, TV commercials, facebook, instagram and pretty much everything social-media related this week. Self preservation.-or- 2.) I can take a deep breath and be thankful for the 34 years I got with Shirl.::...more

Fade to Black: Death After Dementia

  It seems very wrong to write a eulogy for someone who is still alive. That's what I've been doing today. But instead of putting my scattered ideas onto paper, I'm writing this. It's one thing to eulogize in your head and another thing entirely to commit those thoughts to sentences and paragraphs....more

Patterns of Change

I’ve been dealing with a lot of unwanted changes, and it’s not easy. Losses, disappointments, changes—we all struggle when life doesn’t go our way. Why is it so hard to handle change? Then there are the changes we want to make, fight hard to make—losing weight, giving up smoking, being more organized. Why is it so hard to create change?...more

Mental Illness: Letting Go of My Mom

My immediate family used to be very small. It was just my mom, my younger brother, and me. My dad left us behind when I was a teen, so I can't include him in my family. I really don't think it was an easy decision for him, but he did it. Now that I'm an adult I can somewhat see the reason for him making this choice....more

Perhaps Death is the Beginning

During the winter, my heartstrings were tugged relentlessly by the passing of friend's parents.In particular, two of my BlogHer Soul Mates were facing the transitional loss of their mothers after giving devoted long term care. As their situations were similar to that of when my own father died, it was hard for me to witness their losses, so effectively posted on their blogs, Comments and Facebook....more
This subject has always been very, very fascinating to me, even though I couldn't possibly see ...more

Anniversary Grief & Walking Through It

Did you know that “anniversary grief” is a realand common occurrence in the lives ofthose touched by the loss of a close loved one? It’s true. When I worked in healthcare, there was even a section for it in psychosocial assessments. I learned first by watching for the signs in patients. Later, I learned by my own experience....more

At the corner of grief and gratitude

The other morning I was driving to work, listening to a story on NPR. I don’t remember the subject of the story, who, or why–but a calm, confident voice used the words grief and gratitude in the same sentence.Those two words, in such close proximity, captured my attention for the rest of the drive. There was something about how she spoke­, without hesitation. Like the two words actually belonged together. Right next to each other, both connected and separated by a tiny three-letter and....more

Miscarriage

This week has been difficult. I found out Monday via a sonogram that I had miscarried for the second time in less than a year. Approaching 40 and still have no children makes this even more heart breaking than last time. Today I took back all the maternity clothes that I bought last week.  I never said a word to the cashier about why I was returning  the clothes. She simply returned my items and then walked around the register and gave me a big hug. I guess it was written on my face....more
OneQuarterMama Thank you OneQuarterMama for your words of encouragement. I Do believe that one ...more

It's that Time Again...

Probably one of the most important (and hardest) days in my year is fastly approaching, and I find myself unprepared... again. Yes, there is less than 2 weeks until Mother's Day... I can't believe how fast this year has flown by....more