What my hamster, Fat Olivia, taught me about loss and saying goodbye

 This is was Fat Olivia. Actually, let’s talk about her in the present tense. You know, because it’s more fun and less depressing....more

Shared Grief: Obsessing Over Another's Loss

When this blogger learned of another blogger's personal tragedy - losing a baby son - her physical and emotional reaction was both intense and mystifying:I don’t know this blogger, nor do she and I share similar parenting styles...I knew of her through other bloggers and occasionally checked in on what it was she was saying. Overall, though, she and I knew nothing of one another, she probably never having heard of me at all. ...more
@RSMunoz69  I am so sorry for your loss. So sorry. :-(more

took a break.....

So...... I haven't been on here in a while, and to be honest I haven't really known what to write about. But recently, my papaw just passed and I guess now, I do..... He was a good man and battled Alzheimer's disease during the latter part of his life. Somehow, his death brought all us closer, and I was so blessed to get to experience the love. I was able to finally meet my long lost aunt, a woman we didn't know existed until she emailed me a few years ago, but that is a story for another time....more
Thank you Darcie, that means so much.....more

Do Books on Grief Make Grief Harder?

I didn't want anyone telling me how to grieve or giving me advice on something so crippling and unforgiving. I didn't want someone telling me it would be okay eventually or that I needed to move on and this was how to do it. I did read two books, but mostly memoirs of those who had babies die before me. I craved that literature, as I wanted to know I wasn't alone. But a psychiatrist's point of view about how to handle the worst thing conceivable? I wanted nothing to do with those words. ...more
Spot on. For the record, I hated Tear Soup, the only book I opened as well, and then shut half ...more

Gone To Soon..

So sad when a person passes before their time. Leavng their famiies with more questons than answers. Although I know death is'nt easy in any case, its harder to move through it if you become, consumed with figuring out the reasoning, behind the choices made by the one who left you far to soon! its important to focus more on the time you had, Then to dwell on time your missing, And to keep in mind there are those living, who still need you! Take the time to feel your pain, But don't let your grief rob you of time, with those who remain. ...more
I hope you can find some comfort in my thoughts.more

The Story of My Mothers Sudden Death and How I Cope- Part 1

I have come to the conclusion that in order for me to move foreward out of this sureal time in my life, I need to tell my story of the events surrounding my mothers sudden death.  I have barely started  typing and my eyes are welling up.  I reach for a tissue, dab my eyes and blow my nose.  I have been doing that alot for the past two years.  If I just live day by day and not think about it,  I'm ok.  So I think.  But every now and again I get this feeling that I need to tell this to someone, anyone who doestn't know me or my outra...more

Horse Shows After My Father's Death

Now I understand why my mom didn't want me to start riding horses again. It wasn't that she thought it was too dangerous or too expensive (although I'm sure that was part of it). It was because she dreaded the phone call she received today – me in hysterics....more

Daddy's Girl

One of the writing prompts for the February National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) challenge that I am doing was “How old were you the first time you fell in love?”For me, the first person I loved was my Daddy.  I know that’s not exactly what the prompt had in mind, but for me it’s true.  I am a Daddy’s girl, through and through.  I have been since the day I was born....more

A Letter To My Son on Valentine's Day

To my Christian on Valentine's Day, I was sitting here putting your classroom Valentines together and taping heart shaped lollipops to your wheelchair heart cards and I was thinking to myself - Mommy sure knows a lot about hearts. The first time I heard your heartbeat, you were just a tiny baby in my belly. Hearing the woosh-woosh of a baby's first heart sounds is one of the best things I have ever experienced in my whole life. It's the beginning of life. It was the reassurance that you were in there, growing, and it was right then that I fell in love with you. ...more

Alzheimers: Waiting for Forgetting

I read an article in the online New York Times and suddenly find myself crying. Although I cry easily and have come to accept that as part of who I am, something about this crying jag disturbs me. I sit for a moment and let that feeling wash over me, trying to identify it. Ah: Terror. ...more
How utterly terrifying. I don't know if I have this horrid disease in my family, I really don't ...more