The Hubs is Trying to Out Live Me So I Won't Write A Book About Him

I know you took it! Where is it?...more

Singing to My Own Tune

Me as  freshman in High School:I am wasting the next 72 minutes of my life at the Secretary of State.  Why is waiting in a line for me the equivalent of a slow unpredictable death?  I hate lines.  I hate waiting.  Sometimes I just hate time itself....more

Sharing Nature

 It was bright and beautiful and 72 degrees.I wore a short sleeve t-shirt and lots of bug spray.  I packed the fillet knife and some Ziploc baggies. I stuck my book of edible plants in the bag too, just in case I came across anything interesting. I grabbed my rod and Primrose grabbed her favorite stick....more

Online Dating Horror Story #3: Thunder and Lightning

Years ago, I met a man from an online dating site at a fast-food restaurant for a Coke. It turned out to be me listening to an hour-and-a-half monologue. (That happens a lot and I’m too polite — or dumb — to just get up and leave....more

The Artless Con-noisseur – A Skit by Vidur Sury

Let’s welcome Vidur Sury back here. He graciously agreed to guest post for me and I am pleased to say it is an enjoyable skit he wrote for a school program....more

Challenges and Inspiration. Sort of.

Most regular bloggers that I know have drafts in their post lists...I have, at present, 51 drafts. I also have 20-30 "secret blog" posts that no one is ever invited to view. Although sometimes pieces of those secret posts make their way over here, usually after I've had time (a few months) to let it settle and think it through. Some of my drafts are a single sentence. Or an idea for a blog title. Some of them...we'll they're so outdated (in draft status for more than 4 years) that I've forgotten where I wanted to go with the idea in the first place....more

My 4th of July Gift to You, Part III

Welcome to the third annual weird animal penis 4th of July post! In 2011 I brought you the stridulating penis of the water boatman. In 2012 I offered up the four-pronged echidna penis. In 2013, *I* was the dick and forgot to post. This year I gift you all with knowledge of the detachable penis of the paper nautilus. ...more

My Bernese Mountain Dog is on the Wonder Bra diet!

This photo may be a little too much {too much sharing, not cup size}.  But, this is what I recently found on my closet floor.  Apparently, my Bernese Mountain dog, Owen,  loves a good 32A under wire bra from Victoria Secret as a mid-day snack....more
lol I caught my three dogs playing tug of war with the youngest child's VS bra. Bras are great ...more

The Bitch Of My Resting Face

Do you want to talk?’ ‘Are you mad at me?’ ‘Did you try some prunes?’ ‘Are you riding the crimson wave?’ ‘Christ on a cracker she’s in a foul mood - RUN!’ ‘What a bitch.’In my lifetime I’ve heard many of these comments (except the last one because most people think my being a curmudgeon is adorable). They come from well-meaning people who want to help and up their karmic score at the same time. The thing is, there is usually nothing wrong. These people just had a glimpse of my…‘resting face’, also known as ‘Bitchy Resting Face’....more

Happy Fourth of July!

Enjoy your holiday and remember the men and women who keep this country free!And now a word from your NationalMOM...more