Where IS the beef?

So, once a year, sometimes twice, I have the proverbial "Mac Attack" wherein which my brain magically forgets what the double decker sandwich does to my stomach and I am urged by an unknown power to go out and get a Big Mac.I have no will power.Every. single. time. It never fails. I will order one, dream about the taste of it on the way home, then I end up waiting an hour to consume it because my twins are too busy being needy and wanting things like food and attention....more

When work is the escape...

I have never been more thankful that I gave up teaching than I am today. If I were a teacher, I would not be heading to work. Instead, I would be living the life fantastic -- cleaning and cooking and preparing for Thursday's big bash at my leisure. Lucky me! I get to go to work. (I am not being sarcastic.)...more

Boy Mom

Yep, I’m a boy mom.  Plain and simple.  I was meant to be a boy mom.I remember when I was pregnant — I surely would have a girl?  Nope….two ginger wild boys is what I got.And?  It’s what was supposed to be.  Meant to be, really.FootballDirtLoudnessLaughterJokesSillinessCarsTrucksEnginesGunsMessesMiningFunkGasSmellyBoys.I can discuss engines with the best of them.I can spot the blitz.  Cheer an amazing fade thrown perfectly into the end zone....more

Boy Mom

Yep, I’m a boy mom.  Plain and simple.  I was meant to be a boy mom.I remember when I was pregnant — I surely would have a girl?  Nope….two ginger wild boys is what I got.And?  It’s what was supposed to be.  Meant to be, really.FootballDirtLoudnessLaughterJokesSillinessCarsTrucksEnginesGunsMessesMiningFunkGasSmellyBoys.I can discuss engines with the best of them.I can spot the blitz.  Cheer an amazing fade thrown perfectly into the end zone....more

On Having a "Bad Attitude"

Hello my sisters in snark, my colleagues in curtness, my friends who are frank and my associates in assertiveness: Today we salute you.You, who so boldly and decisively refuse to stand for bullshit. You, who do not cower; you who do not yield. You who most likely suffer from moderate to severe resting bitch face.Like you, I have been told at times that I have a bad attitude problem....more

4 Reasons I Love the South (Even Though I'm a Hippie)

 I have done some hatin’ on you in the past, American South, I admit it. Everyone knows you’re a little backwards, bless your heart. But there are also some reasons I love the South, even being a hippie/woman/minority/person who recycles.  And I’m going to share them with you!  ...more
Denise I didn't say there weren't any!!  I said it was a rare day when I saw them.  Especially ...more

Getting Blasted by the Past

On the GrillPork on the grill at a Cuban food booth during the Johns Pass Seafood in Madeira Beach, Florida. Copyright by WyoJones. All rights reserved. Used with permission....more

10 Things You Shouldn't Say at the Thanksgiving Table, and What to Say Instead

Two topics seem to dominate the morning shows during Thanksgiving week: what is the most fattening thing on the table, and how to create the most decadent holiday menu. Is it just me, or does it seem counterproductive to dish on the heart-attack-inducing fat and calories in sausage stuffing while also talking about how to make the very best stuffing?...more
Very nice. One of the reasons I'm glad we live far away from all extended family. Of course, ...more

The Double Mint Twins Meet A Grinch Bra

I was staring down the barrel of a formal occasion that would require from an architectural perspective a strapless bra.  This requirement was met with reluctance and disappointment, because one of the universal truths about strapless bras is the crucial nature of perfect sizing. If the bra is too big, you have a very elaborate belt with gel cushiony cutlets stuck to your belly button. If it’s small, you are a squished can of store bought biscuits under extreme pressure, oozing out the top awkwardly....more