25 Things to know about me in case of a zombie Apocalypse

I have been asked by several people to fill out the “25 Things about you” for a few months now. So now that I am laid up in bed in pain, I will answer. No better time like the present! Carpe the diem and all that! Let’s do this!1.)I was born in Rhode Island. My Social Security Number always seems fake to people who copy it down. Your first 3 social security digits are based around where you are born....more

How Pinterest Makes Me Feel Like a Giant Failure

 like Pinterest for some things --- we all do. But most of the time, Pinterest seems like it’s screaming inadequacies down at me from Martha Stewart’s land of Craftocleanonia. Every time I open the app, Pinterest suggests something I’d never have time for, never want to have time for, or just am too damn lazy for. I want to try. Oh, how I want to try. But Pinterest, you deter me at every turn. I’m not talking #nailedit type fails. I’m talking about sapping my will to live....more

"and mom you said I never had a chance of winning."

",,, and Mom, you said I never had a chance at winning!" This is the accusation  reminder my son shouted at me as I was loading the dishwasher and counting the minutes before bedtime.   Last night after I had just said good night to my boys, my middle son {MS}** comes running down the stairs shouting:  "Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom .!!!!!."  "Guess what?.. Guess What?" I was thinking he must have seen a coyote and didn't want me to let the dogs outside. Or, he found a single facial hair.  That's where my mind set was last night....more

Why being 2 is way more fun than being 32

Is it wrong to be jealous of my two-year-old? It really hits me while I’m sitting at work around 1:00pm and I know at that moment… she is taking a nap. Naps. That’s just onereason being a two-year-old is way more fun that being a 32-year-old. It gets even worse when you consider being a 32-year-old with a two-year-old....more

Life As A Single Mom Between Two Worlds

We all know life isn't always unicorns and rainbows. We all have good days as well as bad. There are days when my life seems so perfect that I wouldn't trade it for any other. And by perfect, I mean a clusterfuck; faults, flaws, and hurts included in with all the smiles and fun. There are times when I absolutely adore this clusterfuck of motherhood, work, creativity, and adventure. ...more
Totally! I struggled trying to re-find my "fun self" for quite some time. It's also hard not to ...more

Smile! Dads Get Judged Too!

One of the super fun things about motherhood is the way everyone has a better idea of how to raise your child than you do. Whether you’re being lambasted on Facebook by Judgerson McGillicuddie when you post a picture of your 11-month-old eating bananas and OH MY GAWD HIDE THE CHILDREN peanut butter, or you’re being scolded by a senile hairdresser for casually mentioning your plan to sleep train your baby who isn’t even born yet, the world makes good and certain that you’re aware of your complete incompetence when it comes to raising your own kid. It’s nothing short of miraculous if your offspring survive to adolescence under your watch since—let’s be honest—you’re really only qualified to be the caretaker of a jar of earthworms. ...more

Sweet Revenge

DParkerI don’t mention my childhood much. I do a good job of keeping up the facade of a level headed, well-adjusted, stable person, so you probably assume that I had a normal upbringing. But all was not perfect for little D. Parker. And I’m not talking about being a flat-chested, uni-browed, four-eyed, brace-face. Or that my parents were hippies, and everything that goes along with that statement. No, I’m referring to the torture inflicted upon me by my younger brother....more

The Mommandments

I saw a post floating around on Facebook about stay at home parenting and made the mistake of reading it. (I had it linked herein but it's no good and I'm living by some new Mommandments now so I deleted it.)If you aren't a fan of absolute ninny-headedness, then don't Google and read my summary:...more