I don't want to know. Well, I already know but I just don't want to hear it out loud.

I'm feeling a little sad today.  I guess part of me hoped that after a year, with time to reflect, and with the opportunity for reconcilliation out there that my ex husband would want to try again.  He hasn't out and out said that he is not interested with words but that is what he means.  I have prayed and fasted and talked to him a lot about everything and he keeps saying that he doesn't think he can ever be what I need.  I guess I have to take him at his word.  I tried for 7 years to get him to just not lie to me and to do what he said he was going to do.  O...more

After Divorce Support...how to survive and thrive


"I Hope My Mom and Dad Still Love Each Other"

I was picking up laundry from my daughter's floor the other night. She was at her Dad's house for the weekend, and I was doing my usual deep clean of the house. Lord knows I can't seem to get any cleaning accomplished when she and her brother are around, so my kid-free weekends are my time for catching up. So there I was, picking through and picking up things off her floor and I did what any Mom would probably do. I snooped....more
Wow. I hope one day she does ask again, and you can tell her that -- so beautifully said.more

The Beginning...

The Start of Something New Hello All! Since all of the recent trials I have been going through I have had several people tell me it is a good idea to start a journal. What better way than to start a blog! I want to use this as a way to tell people how I am feeling and allow God to use my struggles and joys to reach others. I pray God will heal me and several other people through this process....more

A Shout Out To Our Exes

(Un)dearly Ex-Spouses:Hey. It's me. Again...once again reminding you that being a jack-assed douchebag to my kid is not okay. It's me...the one who has them more than every other weekend...which all of us know isreally Saturday through Sunday afternoon.It's me...the one who bakes cookies with them...who dances around making a fool of herself...just because. ...more

Legal Speak-5 Tips to an Efficient Divorce

Are you ready for some Legal Speak?  One of the hardest lessons during divorce besides the emotional ones, are the legal ones.  If you’ve never had to hire a lawyer or deal with any legal issues it can be an eye opener.  I was a real newbie in the legal arena.  I had no clue the costs involved, the time involved nor any handle on the legal vocabulary.  Initially, finding the right...more

Rebellious or right on target?

I have been thinking (which can be a dangersous thing) about the whole idea of reconciling with my ex.  Not that we are even to that place yet.  I have been praying, reading my bible and trying to let God lead me where he will.  The conversations I have been having with my former husband really only lead to more questions for me.  I wonder if I am picking things apart or am I being given divine insite?  I don't know!  He says things like "I have spent the last year trying to figure out my life without you in it."  So I think, Ok, well lets just look a...more

Mirror Mirror

I talked to him today about how much his day yesterday scared me.  I asked him why on a good day would he go to the very place that cost him everything he said he valued to find some comfort?  Why he would go gamble when he spent the morning sharing his testimony with a very lost young man and what would that man say if he saw him in that place?  He said he never thought about it like that.  We had a lengthy talk about some of the places in our marriage that went wrong.  He kept bringing up examples where he did the bad stuff because of something I had said or how I...more

Two steps forward, One step back?

Well, my ex-husband and I have been talking almost daily.  He has shared some of his heart with me and told me how sorry he is about not caring about our family while he was part of it.  It has been somewhat freeing to hear.  I have listened carefully.  He has told me that when he first left he gambled a lot and spent a lot of money.  The only money he had would have been the insurance money that should have paid his medical bills.  I can only assume he did not pay the bills.  I also got a phone call from the car company he has his truck financed with...more