No Mud. No Lotus.

“Just like the lotus we too have the ability to rise from the mud, bloom out of the darkness, and radiate into the world.” Author UnknownI don’t go to this place very often. I don’t go there because it’s dark and heavy. I don’t go there because I am such a lover and believer in the perfection of the journey. I don’t go there because I really have forgiven myself. ...more

Hope and Bravery and Beginning Again

Once upon a time, when we were newly arrived in North Carolina by way of two years in Alaska, I was frustrated and stressed and we were out of money.See, when we left Alaska, I resolved to myself that I would no longer teach. Teaching was something that didn't bring me joy. It brought stress and frustration, but it also brought money that was much needed.And so, when we got to NC, I didn't apply for teaching jobs. I subbed, but my focus was elsewhere - I was looking for something else....more

10 Reasons Why I stayed with my Abuser - And how I left

One of the big reasons as to why I held my story to myself for such a long time was shame. Domestic violence was my Scarlet letter, my regret, my fault, my shame. But I realized that mindset is incorrect.  I told myself, “No, it doesn’t have to be. It is not true."  I decided to turn the negative into something good and positive. And one way to turn it around was to help other women and men. Yes, men do suffer abuse too from their spouses. It’s a small statistic but it happens....more

True Forgiveness

  My kids just left for the week. They went to my parent's house. With their dad. My ex. Wait...did I just say that? Yes, I did. My ex-husband left this morning with all four of my little (well, not all of them are so little anymore) munchkins in tow. "Why on earth would you allow that?" you ask. "Your parents WANT your ex-husband to come visit?" you question. Why, yes! Yes, they do.  My parents are very forgiving people.  Are you wondering if they don't realize how he treated me in the marriage? They do. They also realize that I was partly at fault too....more

Should be 22

  Well here I am, wide awake. It's 12:51 am. on what should have been my 22nd wedding anniversary. That's not why I'm wide awake but it is something that's been on my mind the last few days. I've got a pretty serious situation going on with my teenage son and my head aches from all the crying but I'm still thinking about what today is...was. I'm definitely still somber on this day each year (it's been 2). My friends think I'm crazy...after all, I should have had a divorce party right? I asked for the divorce. He didn't treat me very well. I should be happy right? No....more

7 Ways to Be the Superhero of Your Divorce

We don’t want divorce to bring out the worst in us, but it has a way of doing just that. Before your own divorce, perhaps you looked at other divorcing couples with a critical eye. Or thought some version of, “I just don’t get what all the excitement’s about. It’s a divorce, people. Keep it together.” ...more
Yes, yes, yes, and yes. I did all of these things. In fact, in order to avoid drawing things in ...more

Monday Morning Motivation.."Complete in Christ". The Pain The Journey The Joy

The PainI have heard divorce described in may ways....more

Clearing out clutter...and moving on.

When I divorced last year, I was the one that moved out of the family home.  When I moved into my new place, I only took the bare essentials and things that I truly loved (which sadly, wasn’t much).  There are many benefits to having a home without clutter, and something I’ll talk about in a future post, but the biggest is probably the fact that I can completely clean my house from one end to the other in about 30 minutes....more

What Is It Like to Be Divorced in Your 20's?

Horrible. Absolutely horrible.You feel like a failure. You feel like it is the end of the world. You feel like you ruined everything and like your life is over.You probably know your life is not over, but that doesn’t help the feeling. You also know you are blessed to get out while you still can, before there are kids and debts – but that will not make you feel better either....more
I'd like to comment, I've been in a similar situation. I married a man from overseas, we had a ...more