Even After Two Divorces, It Was Just a Break-Up That Changed Everything

We sat in my living room as we had dozens of times in the nearly six months we’d been together. He was smiling, the same smile I adored from the moment I first saw it on the lips I never wanted to stop kissing, the lips I loved watching as he talked....more
Good for you, Vicki!  Isn't that just the most liberating thing ever!  One of the greatest joys ...more

The Evolution of a Crush Slut

You know that one person at that one party? I like them. That one guy that I randomly took a shower with? Yeah, I like him. That cute girl dating a friend of mine? I like her, too. And that guy?! That guy with the really great hair? Oh yeah, I really like him....more

When Does Sex Become Too Risqué for You?

At a gathering of friends the other night, the topic of sex came up. First, it was just us girls sitting around having a drink, laughing and swapping stories; giving and taking advice on everything from whether or not we swallow (and why not, if not) to our favorite way to orgasm (position, g-spot vs clitoral).Then the guys came out to join our conversation....more
What I love after having learned about a movement called the Sex Positive movement is that all ...more

Your Darkest Hour

It's probably one in the morning.  But I don't want to look at my phone because if it is 1am it will just remind me that I'm still awake and not sleeping.  My mind is on. My heart pounds quickly. "I just want to sleep" I think to myself as my husband sleeps soundly.  How? How can I sleep when there is always a constant movement of worry and anxiety in my mind.  An endless to do list that never goes away and somehow never gets done....more

Talk show interview on my book about sexual abuse

I was interviewed recently on an online talk show sponsored by Stop the Silence, an organization to help prevent childhood sexual abuse. The interview was about my book, Enfolded in Silence/A Story in Art of Healing from Sexual Trauma in Childhood (amazon.com). I read poetry about my abuse experiences and also about how I healed, both of which are in my book. I continue to look for opportunities to spread the word about sexual abuse and healing. Healing is possible with good help and perseverance. It took time for me, but the life I lead now is very precious....more

Why I Stayed In My Sexless Marriage

There's nothing in the world worse than knowing you have a serious problem that everyone else in the world seems to not have. For instance, a sexless marriage. ...more
I was relieved when I got to the end of this. I was worried the whole way through you would have ...more

So, Would You Date a Bisexual Guy?

Editor's Note: This piece was first published in April, 2009. I enjoyed the discussion of sexual fluidity and gender identity. For Pride Month, I want to feature more BlogHer posts that discuss queer identities when it comes to dating, love, and sex. - Feminista Jones For someone like me, living in oh so open-minded Northern California, the tabloid press stories about celebrities’ sex lives are kinda puzzling. Every week, there’s a story outing some star’s sexual life:“Gavin Rossdale’s ex-girlfriend is a man!”...more
violetta That is a ridiculously ignorant statement to make.  HIV/AIDS are not exclusive to the ...more

The Duggar Story is Mine

I know this is not what I normally write about here but the subject is incredibly important.........more
I am so sorry that you had this happen to you. I have tentatively followed the Duggar story, for ...more

The Power of Silk Stockings: 7 Tips for a Better Sex Life

There's something about putting on a simple piece of something silky that makes me feel sexy and does powerful things to my guy. B loves the silky feeling of stockings, thigh -highs to be exact, and I love the way it makes me feel to have him trail his fingers up and down my legs while I'm wearing them. It's these intimate moments and small touches that make for our healthy and voracious sex life. Lately, it seems that there are a lot of articles and pins popping up around the web about intimacy missing from relationships....more
I agree. It's too easy for us as women to get trapped in the what am I supposed to feel like, ...more

Let's Get Real About Date Rape

I think I've told a total of 3 people in my lifetime about my experience with date-rape. It took me years after the fact to even acknowledge out loud that I had been a victim of it....more
"The guy who I was dating, who was passed out in the living room, would likely have gotten ...more